10 Years
by rauby
Summary: Ten years is a long time, and things change. But the past can't be erased and it always comes back. What you do when it does forms the future. Femslash if you don't like it, don't read it. I know I suck at summaries, but give it a go anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, so yes I know I have an active story, which I am not done with so don't worry about that. But this idea just would not leave me alone! Like I mean it has been on my mind for weeks. I finally had a free afternoon and this is what came out. It is a slow burn though, there will be romance, but much later and I am not sure who with who. Also I appologize if I get some of the Army jargon wrong. It's not what this story is about, so please be kind. Please let me know what you think? Hope you like. BR  
**

* * *

Santana Lopez was still in wonder. She had just gotten to New York three days previous, she couldn't believe it. She felt like a fish out of water. Even after nearly a year back State side she felt like she didn't belong. Granted a good portion of that year was spent in Hospital and then on Base near Houston. Now after ten years in the Army she had a posting in country, she really had no other choice. And of all places a new program in New York. She had very little time to pack up the few belongings she did have and report for duty. Even less time to find a place to live. She was after all an Officer now and could do that. And she had to as well. So she had done just that. And she had found a small but nice apartment close to where she would now be and instructor to hopeful combat medics. And now she was jittery and tired and standing in front of a huge Starbucks a little overwhelmed. This was a civilian world that Santana didn't know if she still knew how to handle. She had decided on a whim that she would like something that didn't taste of army just once. And it was after all her first day. So she had walked the five minutes to Starbucks, and now didn't know what she was supposed to ask for. Coffee was after all out of the question. But everything sounded so foreign and that made Santana snort. New York felt foreign to her. But give her a desert filled with people trying to shoot and she felt right at home

The boy behind the counter had to look twice. In the last few months they had gotten quite a lot of military folks there, but none looked quite like this woman. Even with the jagged scars that criss-crossed the right side of her face and neck she was quite something. 'Ma'am how can I help you today?' He stammered slightly.

Santana smiled at the boy apologetically. 'Hi, maybe you can help me out here. I need something to get me through to lunch time and is not coffee? You think you can get me something like that?'

'The boy blinked, this lady was nicer than most of the other customers. She actually treated him like a person. 'Well sure, would you like something fruity or rather something creamy or maybe tee?'

'Well I think fruity would be nice.' Santana shrugged then winced, she had to remember to loosen up before she went to work. He shoulder had been shredded by shrapnel and she was still not back to normal. Likely never would be.

The boy cocked his head then nodded, he had the perfect drink for her. 'Maybe something simple like Strawberry Frapucino?'

'You know what...' Santana took a quick look at the name tag and smiled. 'Kevin that sounds great. Thanks.'

'Any time ma'am.' Kevin was mortified when he felt his ears burn red. He couldn't believe that he was blushing. He quickly took her money and was surprised when she told him to keep the change. It was a rather big tip. 'Thank you ma'am.'

'You work hard, you deserve it. Have a nice day Kevin.' Santana chose to ignore the blush and gave him a last smile before moving on to get her drink. He really couldn't help it, and he was so utterly harmless. And with how she looked she found it rather flattering too. She grabbed her drink then checked her watch. 'Damn!' She was still early, but in the army if you were five minutes early you were late. So she had to hustle or she would be late for her first day. And the damn uniform didn't help. For her first day it was required that she wore her Service Uniform. She absolutely hated it. It was stiff and you couldn't move at all. At least it was only for Monday assembly's. The rest of the time she would be back in her combat uniform or PT. _No matter how hard they try this damn uniform will never be comfortable! And bloody heels. As if I can do anything with these._

* * *

Quinn huffed, she was tired and now her partner wanted to stop for coffee. They were of shift as soon as they got back to the house and could hand back their on duty car, but no. Her partner wanted to stop for coffee. 'How can you not wait ten minutes for coffee? I swear Kerry you are such an ass.'

'Oh suck it Quinn. Forgive me if I don't have a lead lined stomach that can handle the swill that passes as coffee back at the station.' Kerry shrugged not very concerned with Quinn's anger. She was always grumpy if they didn't get back by end of shift. 'Besides it's you turn to buy.'

Quinn huffed but finally got out of the car and walked across the road and into Starbucks. At least the rush seemed to be somewhat over. As she waited she people watched a little. Not much else to do. _Huh she seems to be a little out of her way. But the uniform looks oh so good._ Quinn looked the woman at the front of the cue up at and down. She had to admit the uniform hugged the woman in all the right places, but that wasn't what had her so interested. No it was the fact that she was sure that she knew this woman. But for the life of her she couldn't place her. But her mind was telling her she should remember and that is was important that she did. There was something so utterly familiar in the way the woman moved and the gestures she made. It was so very familiar and yet utterly foreign. As the woman moved on to get her coffee Quinn ordered and lost track of the woman. As she turned to go get their coffee she finally caught a glimpse and felt the blood drain. How could she not have seen it. Not immediately known. 'Santana.' It came out as nothing more than whisper and by the time Quinn could move Santana was already nearly out the door. _For gods sake Fabray move! Damn it move! Or she'll vanish again. _She ran as Santana opened the door. She had to catch up to her. 'Santana? Lopez!' Quinn called out and for a second she thought that maybe, just maybe her mind had been playing tricks on her, but then Santana turned, and Quinn could clearly see utter confusion in her face. 'It is you.' She breather after a second.

'Quinn?' Santana asked completely confused. She was obviously having some sort of weird dream. There was no way that Quinn could possibly be there, could there? She hadn't seen her in ten years. Ten long years. And yet the woman standing in front of her really couldn't be anyone else. _This is not happening. _'I...I have to go.' She supposed it was it was her flight or fight instinct kicking in and because she had never thought that she would ever see Quinn Fabray ever again flight won out.

Quinn desperately searched her pockets for a one of her cards and a pen. 'Wait! Santana please!' She called after Santana desperately.

For some reason Santana stopped and turned around. 'I can't, I have to go.' Santana took the card that Quinn shoved her way anyway.

'Please...please just call. Santana...please?' Quinn stumbled over her words, she was probably still in shock. _At least now I know you are ok. If nothing else I know you are ok._

Santana gripped the card tightly, she didn't know what to say. She would more than likely not call, but she also didn't want to tell Quinn that. 'I have to go.' She turned and this time didn't look back as she hurried away from part of her past.

Quinn stood there until she couldn't see Santana any more then walked back to the car and her waiting partner. She was in a complete daze._ Damn it Lopez you better call! Please don't just disappear again._

Kerry glanced up at Quinn and frowned. Where was her damn coffee? 'Hey Fabray what's the big idea?' Kerry turned to Quinn fully when she didn't get an answer and blinked. 'Shit you look like you just saw a ghost.'

'I might as well have.' Quinn muttered softly, off al the people she thought she would run into in New York when she had moved here years ago Santana Lopez was not at the top of that list. 'Get us back to the station. I need to get home.'

Kerry nodded without further question. She knew when to push and when to do as asked. 'I'll take care of the paperwork.'

* * *

Santana pulled at her jacket to make sure it was straight then took a deep breath. She remembered what one of her Drill Sergeants told her when they had graduated basic training. He had told her it's not about knowing everything it's about looking as if you do. So Santana squared her shoulder then marched into her classroom. _I'm a teacher. How in the world did that happen._ 'Morning.'

All eight Privates jumped to attention. 'Morning Sergeant!'

Santana eyed them up and down, they looked like a good bunch. If she wasn't mistaken this was the group that was nothing but trouble though. They all had reprimands in their files. And they were also the group that showed the greatest potential. Which is why she had them. _Dolly and me would have fit right in here._ 'At ease and sit down.'

'Yes Sergeant!' They all sat down and waited for Santana to continue.

Santana only had two groups, but this was the one she would have the most involvement with. She took the list from her folder, first things first. She would try and see where the group was at later. You couldn't do that in a classroom. 'Brooks.'

'Here Sergeant!' Brooks called out. They all knew how Roll call went after all.

Santana looked up so she could match the face with the information she had memorized. Brooks had one reprimand on file for hitting his commanding officer. The only reason he was still there was because it seemed the commanding officer was making advances that the lady he was with did not appreciate. After the incident Brooks kept his nose clean. 'Mills.'

'Here Sergeant.' Mills didn't straighten her posture or even look at Santana.

Santana's eyebrow arched, yes this was the biggest trouble maker. She had been switched out of two Platoons because none of the NCO's knew what to do with her. She talked back did things her way and showed absolutely no respect. But she was clever enough to do it just beneath the level where they would be able to kick her out. _Not with me. _'Mills you just earned everyone drill time. Congratulations. After roll call you have fifteen minutes to change into full combat gear and meet in the courtyard. Understood?'

They all groaned and glared at Mills. 'Yes Sergeant!'

'Mills my office, now.' Santana pointed to the door and waited for Mills to move.

'I don't know where your office is Sergeant.'

'Then I suggest you find it fast.' Santana turned back to the others as Mills grumbled and stalked out the door. _Don't let them even start of with thinking they can get away with showing disrespect. If you do, they'll walk all over you._ 'Jensen.'

'Here Sergeant.' Jensen replied easily.

Santana looked up and nodded. He was the joker in the bunch. Never in any real trouble, but also didn't take things to seriously. He would learn. 'Willis.'

'Here Sergeant.' Willis bellowed loudly.

Santana winced. Yip over enthusiastic, but not quick to take orders. Liked to do things his way. 'Harris.'

'Here Sergeant.' Harris replied with a small grin.

Santana groaned, right the womaniser where would they be without one of those. She was so blatantly checking Santana out that it made her skin crawl. _That is all I need! Dolly seems you gonna be my wifey again for a while._ 'Saber.' _That name has got to hurt._

'Here Sergeant.' Saber snipped.

And there was Santana's anger management issue. Saber liked to talk with his fists, a lot apparently. 'Polter.'

'Here Sergeant.' Polter said softly, he pretty much always kept to himself.

Santana sighed, Polter she would have to bring out of his shell. His test scores were off the chart. Social skills were non existent. 'Lewis.'

'Here Sergeant.' Lewis answered confidently.

Santana sighed inwardly, and Lewis was the know it all. Seemed everyone had made it. 'You have fifteen minutes I suggest you move.' She said and smiled amused as the seven soldiers scrambled to get out of the room and to their rooms. After a few seconds she made her way to her office. Finding Mills leaning against the wall outside it. 'Mills stand up straight.' She snapped as she opened the door.

'Yes Sergeant.' Mills ground out as she followed Santana into the office. She looked around and was surprised that the only things there were a locker neatly squared away and a desk also neatly squared away. No personal affects at all. _Probably has a hubby at home and hasn't gotten around to displaying all the cutsie pictures. Where do they find these people._

Santana opened her locker and opened it hanging up her jacket then taking out what she needed and put it on her desk. 'You have talent, and you know it. You think you can handle yourself in all situations and are better than others. And more than likely you are, and maybe you even could although I doubt it. And you can keep going the way you are, and I will gladly sign off on you and watch as the army posts you somewhere so of the map you can't even imagine it. And there you will be king of the mountain and absolutely useless. Or you can let me teach you and become a good soldier and be useful. It's up to you. But Mills you used up one of your three strikes. Third one you are gone. Do we understand each other?'

Mills was red in the face. She was going places not like this bitch. 'Yes Sergeant.' She would have her day.

'You have ten minutes to get into gear. Don't be late.' Santana dismissed her then quickly changed into her combat fatigues. She had no illusions, she knew that Mills would be trouble, and if she couldn't nip it in the bud she would be big trouble. She sighed as she stretched so her uniform could settle properly immediately comfortable in her own skin again. _This is better. _She would deal with Mills as things came up. She could handle her.

* * *

Quinn was still pretty much in a daze as she made her way to her room so she could lock her gun away. She lived in a ridiculously big house because her friend needed her too. And even after nearly a year she still felt out of place. And after seeing Santana again after so may years she felt antsy. _Where the hell have you been Santana?_

'Quinn? You home?'

'Yea in my room!' Quinn lay down on her bed and stared at the ceiling forlornly. What was she supposed to do with all her unanswered questions running around her mind?

'I thought I heard you. You have a hard day?'

Quinn lifted her head and shook it. 'No, no Brit it was fine.'

Brittany walked in and joined Quinn on her bed then ran her fingers trough Quinn's hair. She knew it relaxed Quinn it usually put her right to sleep. 'Then why do you have your worried face on?'

Quinn debated with herself whether she should tell Brittany about Santana or not. When Santana disappeared Brittany had been completely broken. They might not have been dating any more, but Brittany and Santana had always been like family, and it was like Brittany had lost a family member, and she guessed that in Brittany's mind she had. _And I still have no clue what had happened. But she has a right to know. '_Lets get comfy Brit.'

'Ok now I'm really worried.' Brittany lent against the headboard next to Quinn fingers still sifting through Quinn's hair, it was habit that she had never been able to break. To relax Quinn and let her think she used to do the exact same thing for hours.

'I don't know if it something to really worry about per se.' Quinn said softly trying to stall.

Brittany rolled her eyes, she knew all of Quinn's stalling tactics. 'Quinn.'

'I saw her.' Quinn sighed out softly.

Brittany frowned, now there was a ambiguous answer if she ever heard one. 'Saw who? Mother Theresa?'

Quinn groaned, leave it to Brittany to make a joke when Quinn was trying to be serious. 'I was getting coffee for Kerry when I noticed this woman in Uniform, and I swear Brit I knew I knew her, but I couldn't place her.' Quinn closed her eyes to try and remember as much detail as she could. It was something she had learnt a long time ago, she remembered more when she did that. 'She was wearing an Army Medical Corps pin and had a lot of ribbons. And some sort of rank, not sure what, but high enough. Perfectly put together. She had some scaring on the right side of her face and neck.' Quinn frowned trying to remember more, but that was it. The moment she had seen who it was her mind had simply stopped working.

Brittany waited, she knew how Quinn's mind worked, she was processing and would get to the point when she had it all clear in her mind. But she would love to know what the point was Quinn was getting at. _And who is her? _'Quinn?'

'It wasn't until she turned that it hit me.' Quinn blinked her eyes open and looked Brittany in the eye. 'It was Santana Brit.'

'What?' Brittany asked softly she was sure she had heard wrong.

'I saw Santana. She's in New York.' Quinn stated more firmly.

Brittany bit her lip, it had been ten years since she had last seen or talked to Santana. And she still missed her terribly. 'Can we call her, is she ok? Where was she?'

'Brit!' Quinn stopped Brittany before she went into total over drive . 'I don't know. I saw her for maybe five minutes in total.'

Brittany completely deflated. 'But she's ok?'

'She looked good.' Quinn agreed, she would leave out the fact that she had given Santana her card. She was still unsure what to make of the less than enthusiastic hello. _She looked scared. She looked terrified of me. Like I was going to smack her, or something._

'If she is here you have to find her.' Brittany suddenly said as she snuggled into Quinn her head resting on Quinn's chest. 'You are the Police. You can do that. You have to.'

'I can't just do that Brit.' Quinn sighed as she hugged Brittany closer. This was one reason why she did like living with Brittany. Brittany always knew what she needed. And having her close right then was exactly what she needed.

'I don't care, you find her Quinn. I...I need to see for myself that she is ok.' Brittany admonished Quinn. And in the end she knew that Quinn would do as she asked. Quinn always put her first and herself second. It had been that way for ten years, no matter what had happened.

Quinn nodded stiffly. She would give Santana some time, but if she didn't call in the next few days she would go make a few calls and she would find Santana, whether Santana wanted her to or not. 'I will find her, I promise.'

'Thank you Quinn.' Brittany mumbled.

'How was your day? Did you make to the studio, or did you work from here.' Quinn asked while she played a little with Brittany hair. When they were both home at the same time they would very often end up just like this.

Brittany sighed loudly. She had been working on going back to her studio to work on the choreography projects she had, but she had as of yet not made it. 'I nearly made it.'

'How close did you get?' Quinn asked, she knew why Brittany hadn't gone back to her dream, and why she tried every day. It was understood that Quinn would ask about it.

'Across the road.' Brittany whispered as she felt tears start dampening Quinn's crisp work shirt.

'You'll get there.' Quinn soothed. It was also understood that unless Brittany brought up the why, they didn't talk about it. And Quinn could understand she had her own issues she didn't talk about either. A lot can happen in ten years.

* * *

Santana sighed, she had a lot of work if she was going to get her group into any shape at all. The morning drills had gone dismally bad. And now the PT hadn't gone better. And she had taken it easy on them. Only a ten mile jog through the city. And damn it she was the one that was not up to par yet she was running circles around them. 'Ok make sure to stretch properly. We will be doing this twice a week. I do it four, any of you want to join me on my morning runs for the other two times are welcome. Just let me know.' She stretched sighing in pleasure. Nothing like a proper run to loosen up muscles and mind.

'Why in gods name would we do that Sergeant?' Jensen puffed as he tried to suck in enough oxygen so he wouldn't pass out. He couldn't believe that they had gone on a run with their Sergeant. In his experience they gave orders and stood back and watched. But apparently not Sergeant Lopez. _How the hell can she still look so relaxed._

'Well first of because its a disgrace that an injured Sergeant can run circles around every single one of you.' Santana grinned proudly, she wasn't one to brag about where she had been and what she had done. But her body was something she did brag about. And why not? 'And I might or might not hand out very useful tips for anyone who was willing to listen.'

'And what could you possibly have to tell us that could help us Sergeant?' Saber asked shortly.

Santana rolled her eyes, well wasn't that just rude? 'Don't judge a book by its cover, and if you do take a good look at the cover first. The offer stands. Take it don't I go anyway.' She shrugged it really was only in their own best interest. But they had probably not yet found her bio. She was pretty sure their opinions would change once they had. 'First four chapters for tomorrow, no excuses. Now you are dismissed. Have good evening.' Santana said as she walked off leaving the eight to stretch out and get themselves squared away before dinner. She had better things to do. She was done for the day. That still felt like a novelty. _Now time to go get my baby and go home._

* * *

Santana made it to the daycare in record time. The old woman who ran it shook her head and chuckled at her. She didn't seem al that surprised though. 'Hi.' Santana smiled a little sheepishly, she knew she probably looked like a mess. She hadn't bothered to change out of her PT uniform. She was to anxious to see her baby.

'Oh sweetie don't you worry, you are fine. A little on the sweaty side, but just fine. It's nice to see a mama that is so anxious to see their little one.'

Santana grinned at Millie Kilbourn. She was a godsend. She had been a complete wreck. She had never left her four month old, but Millie was like a good natured Grandma. And Santana felt comfortable leaving Alejandra with her. 'You know Millie I can't remember the last time anyone called me sweetie and I didn't punch them in the face.' Santana followed Millie into her home and to the crib where her baby was peacefully sleeping. She still felt a little odd to call Millie Millie, but the woman had insisted.

'Oh you army types are all so easy sweetie.' Millie shrugged as she watched Santana practically moon over Alejandra. 'But I think it's way past time for someone to treat you like the beautiful young lady you are.'

Santana snorted happily. Millie had absolutely no hang ups saying exactly what was on her mind. 'Was she good for you?'

'She had some trouble this morning when you left, but once we got her settled she was ok. Cranky, I am guessing just like her mama, but ok.' Millie gently ran a finger through Alejandra's hair. She was a little carbon copy of Santana.

'Hey I am not cranky.' Santana tried to defend herself then blushed when Millie arched an eyebrow in that all knowing fashion that mothers every where were so good at. 'Sorry.'

Millie cackled happily. Yes Santana was a sweetheart and such a well mannered one. If only all the mothers she dealt with were like her. 'You are just fine Sweetie. Now why don't you say hi, like I know you are itching to and I'll go get her things.'

'Thanks.' Santana said as she focussed all her attention on Alejandra. She very carefully picked her up. Her baby girl was tiny, but then she guessed that was to be expected. She had almost lost her, she was born three months early. But now, now she was growing and thriving and she was everything to Santana. 'Hey baby.' She nuzzled Alejandra gently, there was nothing that smelled as good as a baby Santana was sure. 'It's so good to see someone that isn't a silly monkey with an attitude problem. And I have eight of those now, can you imagine? No? Well neither can I.' Santana kissed the baby softly on top of the head as she talked about her day and what she had been up to. 'I saw someone today baby, and I didn't think I would ever see them again. You remember the stories I told you about my family back in Lima. Well today I ran into Quinn. I haven't seen her in ten years and I got scared and ran. She did give me her card though.' Santana frowned, she was still not sure why she had just run away. 'I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that.'

'If you ask me, you should call her.' Millie said as she rolled Alejandra's stroller into the room. 'Because sweetie I get the feeling you are lonely. And a young lady like yourself should not be lonely. So give your old friend a call. The worst thing that could happen you catch up and never see each other again or you find yourself a friend.' Millie rolled her eyes at Santana's scowl. 'Take it from an old lady, you can never have to many friends.'

'I am not the person that she knew any more.' Santana mumbled softly as she strapped Alejandra in.

Millie snorted to be young and so naïve. 'And you think she is the same person? But if she gave you her card she obviously wants to at least see what did become of you. She might like the new you. I know I like you well enough.'

Santana chuckled, maybe she would call Quinn. Maybe not. 'Geez thanks Millie way to make a girl feel special.'

'Oh git girlie before I make you feel real special.' Millie swatted Santana lightly as she walked them to the door. 'See you tomorrow honey, and call your friend.'

'I might. Bye Millie.' Santana was completely lost in thought as she walked home. So much had happened and ten years was such a long time. _But what do you have to loose? Millie is right, and __you know Dolly would kick your ass if she finds out about this. Well more like when. That woman has like spidey senses._

* * *

Later after she had showered and Alejandra was fed and clean Santana lay on her bed with Alejandra sleeping peacefully on her chest. It seemed the only way Santana could get her to fall asleep. Her girl liked to feel her and hear her heartbeat. And Santana couldn't say she wanted it any other way. 'I should call huh?' She murmured then finally picked up the card Quinn had given her. She snorted when she finally took a look at it. 'Damn Millie you weren't joking when you said that she wasn't the same as I remember either.' Santana finger ran over the simple print and Quinn's name. She carefully crabbed her phone and decided that this was as good a time as any. So after only a few more seconds of hesitation she dialled.

_'Fabray.'_

Santana closed her eyes, things might have changed, but something never would. Quinn still sounded like she smoked a pack a day and washed them down with whiskey. Santana had always thought it was Quinn's best asset, she sounded like sex personified. 'Ten years is a very long time Quinn.' Santana said without really thinking. It was just what came out.

Quinn shot up in bed, she had not expected Santana to call back that soon or actually at all. She had rabitted so convincingly. _'Santana?'_

'Yea.' Santana said softly her free hand drawing slow circles on Alejandra's back. It was soothing her frayed nerves.

_'I'm glad you called.' _Quinn said honestly. But now that Santana had called Quinn had no idea what to say.

'I very nearly didn't, you should thank Millie.' Santana breathed sadly. Millie had been right of course. She was lonely, Alejandra was everything to her, but she still missed her friends all of whom were a long long way away.

_'Well give me her address and I'll personally send her the biggest bunch of flowers I can find.' _Quinn said lightly, she didn't think that having heavy conversations over a phone was ever a good idea. But she couldn't help wondering if Millie was Santana's girlfriend.

'She would get a kick out of that.' Santana kissed the top of Alejandra's head to get some sense of balance. Quinn unnerved her more than she cared to admit.

Quinn blinked she was pretty sure that someone was with Santana, and that whoever it was Santana had just kissed them. If it was possible Quinn suddenly felt as if things were ten times more awkward than they had already been. '_Can we crab a cup of coffee sometime this week?'_

Santana bit her lip, this is what she had wanted. So why it felt so hard was a mystery to her. 'I am pretty booked, but I can manage Wednesday lunch or Friday after work around five.'

Quinn bit her lip, this was not the Santana she remembered. She was so easy going. _'Wednesday works for me. I'm on nights for the rest of the week.'_

'Then I'll see you at the same Starbucks at twelve?' Santana asked just to make sure to have her facts straight.

_'That sounds good. I'm really looking forward to this Santana.' _Quinn smiled as she said it, because it really was true.

'Same. Look I have to go, I have an early morning. See you soon Quinn.' Santana closed her eyes, she hoped that if they saw each other they could have a not so awkward conversation.

_'See you then.'_ Quinn hung up she felt out of sorts and decided to get up and try and do something constructive since she knew she wasn't going to get any sleep. She left Brittany sleeping peacefully, no need to wake her up. She would talk to her in the morning.

Santana swallowed hard, god she had thought she was done crying over the past and the could haves a long time ago. But of course seeing Quinn again brought it all back. 'I think I need to talk your Auntie Dolly.' She gently placed Alejandra in her crib next to her bed then lay back down. She knew she wouldn't get much sleep, but she had to at least try. The past had a way of taking away the peace she had found in her waking hours in her sleeping ones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey to anyone out there I hope you enjoy:)  
**

* * *

Santana nervously plucked at the bottom of her Uniform jacket as she stared up at the Starbucks sign. She was late, she couldn't remember the last time she had been late for anything. But for some reason she had been dragging her feet. Well if she was honest with herself she knew exactly why she was dragging her feet. Quinn. It all came down to Quinn and everything that would come with Quinn. And Santana wasn't sure whether she was truly ready for all that. 'Pull yourself together Lopez. You can do this. You got this.' With a last grunt Santana walked into Starbucks with a determined stride she took her cap of and stuck it in her breast pocket then scanned the shop. Quinn wasn't hard to spot at all.

Quinn twirled her spoon, she had of course gotten there early. And had grabbed them a table in the back nice and private. With that she had gotten herself the biggest cup of coffee they had and gambled on a regular black coffee for Santana. If her memory served her she was sure that that was Santana's drink of choice. _I hope she shows up. She'll show up. I don't think Army people stand people up right?_

'Sorry I'm late.' Santana said softly as she got to Quinn's table. 'I was held up.'

Quinn jumped a little then got up. 'Oh no worries. You aren't really late at all. I am still anal about being early for everything.' Quinn offered a small smile and felt some of her nerves ease when it was returned. 'I wasn't sure whether you still took you coffee the same way, but I took a chance.' Quinn motioned to the cup sitting on the table ready to drink.

Santana smiled wryly, oh how she would love a cup. And Quinn had of course gotten her order perfect. She had always had a freakish eye for detail. 'As sweet as that is Quinn, I actually don't drink coffee any more.' _Lies! All Lies! You love your coffee you just have a temporary break from each other. _Santana nearly winced at Quinn's crestfallen expression, it was so obvious how hard Quinn was trying. 'If it makes you feel any better, you got my order right.' Santana gave Quinn's shoulder a quick squeeze, just to show how grateful she was for the effort. 'I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something. Do you want some thing else? Maybe something to eat?'

'No thanks Santana, I'll be heading home for some shut eye after this. But please get yourself something.' Quinn shook her head. Then watched as Santana walked to the counter. She had to admit the fatigues looked good on Santana. She looked confident and comfortable. Quinn frowned as she pulled the cup of coffee she had gotten for Santana closer to her. For a second there she was pretty sure she had seen something like longing crossing Santana's features, but it was gone in an instant. _Maybe she is on one of those crazy health kicks?_

Santana made quick work of getting her order then headed back to the table. 'It is good to see you Quinn.' Santana didn't miss the small quirk of Quinn's eyebrow. Quinn obviously wanted to say something, but was holding back and why wouldn't she, Santana had freaked out on her before. Santana sighed and put down her sandwich. 'I am sorry for how I reacted on Monday. It was just...I never expected to run into you.'

'Well I can safely say I didn't expect it either.' Quinn slowly sipped her coffee and watched as Santana wolfed down her sandwich. 'Hungry are we?' She chuckled when Santana sheepishly looked up.

'Sorry running after a bunch of soldiers who think they know everything really gives you an appetite. Plus I was running late so I missed Breakfast.' _More like my sweet little angel decided that my breakfast would look better on my shirt. Really should keep things away from those little fingers. _Santana sipped at her drink this time she had gone with Mango. It was good.

'So.' Quinn but her lip. 'Are you are nervous as I am?'

Santana chuckled then nodded. 'Yea, I mean I just got here less than a week ago. And there you are. And all I am trying to do is find my feet. I haven't been a big city in a long time. It all feels so off.'

'Oh good. I hate being the only one that was nervous.' Quinn filed away every little detail that Santana let out. She wasn't dumb though, there were huge volumes of things being left out from both sides. But it did surprise her how short a time Santana had been there. Them running into each other truly was a one in million coincidence. 'So you are a Sergeant?'

'Sergeant First Class actually, but not bad.' Santana arched her eyebrow eyeing Quinn's badge. 'And you are a detective. Now that surprised me.' Actually when she saw the NYPD logo on Quinn's card she was totally floored. Quinn had been on her way to Yale, and now she was a cop. Things had truly changed. And she had no idea how, when or where.

'SVU.' Quinn nodded. 'You are in the Medical Corps?'

'Combat Medic.' Santana agreed, their conversation was awkward, but at least better than their phone call had been. They were basically getting to know each other again, or rather some aspects of each other. Work seemed to be a comfortable topic for them both. 'What exactly is SVU?'

Quinn blinked, it had been a while since someone had asked her that. 'Special Victims Unit. You've been deployed?'

Santana hummed non comital and took another sip. 'You could say that, a few times. And I don't really want to know what Special Victims entails, do I?'

'Somehow I don't think I have to tell you what it entails. What are you doing in New York though?' _Please say you are here to stay! _Quinn knew that she couldn't push to hard. She had no idea how Santana would react. She seemed so much calmer now, but still. She didn't want to risk losing contact again.

'I'm an instructor actually. I was injured on my last deployment and haven't healed completely. And New York was offered to me, I thought it would be a nice change.' Santana easily left out huge parts of the story. But she was not ready to tell Quinn about Alejandra. She would eventually, if things worked out. 'How about you?'

'I got to the point where I was just done doing what people expected.' Quinn shrugged, of course there were a few details missing there. But some things she just didn't want to talk about in a coffee shop. 'So I became a cop, and I have to say I have never been happier.'

Santana nodded, Quinn did look very at ease with herself. Something that had always been missing when they were younger. It looked good on her. Santana growled when her phone chirped, things were just getting a little less awkward. 'I'm sorry I have to take this. Sergeant Lopez.' She held her phone and immediately her grip turned white. _I can not leave those idiots alone for five minutes! _'Yes Sir...no sir not funny at all...yes sir...of course sir...I'll be there in five minutes sir...yes sir...yes sir.' Santana got up and looked at Quinn apologetically. 'I am so sorry Quinn.'

'Go, that sounded like someone wants your ass in a sling.' Quinn shrugged, she understood she was no stranger of having to run off without a proper explanation. Santana gave her a curt nod then was gone. Quinn sat back and sighed. 'Well that went well, I think.' She muttered as she sipped the last of her coffee. Santana had at least managed to demolish her sandwich before she had to run of. That was something.

* * *

Brittany sighed unhappily as she watched people go in and out of the building where her dance studio was. She wished she had the courage to go in too. But she just couldn't, she didn't think she ever would. But she tried none the less. Every day. But she never got closer than across the road. With a sigh she picked up her bag and started walking back to her car. _Maybe tomorrow._ She had to get back to her home studio she had some dancers going there for rehearsals. And she was already running late.

'Brit wait!'

Brittany turned around and actually smiled. 'Paul, it's good to see you.'

'You too, I must say I was surprised when I saw you from upstairs.' Paul grinned, he was one of Brittany's best friends and also manager of the dance studio.

Brittany pulled him close for a quick hug. 'I've been getting closer, and closer I just can't manage actually going inside.' She sighed again.

Paul nodded in understanding. 'Hey it's a gorgeous building though, so you can admire it from afar. A sort of strange love affair.' He teased her with a cheeky grin.

'You are such an ass.' Brittany rolled her eyes. 'Don't you have a class to teach?'

'Don't you have one?' Paul arched his eyebrow, he was one of the few people that still treated Brittany the exact same way as always.

'Touché.' Brittany nodded as she checked her watch. Now she really was running late. And Quinn would kill her because she would be woken up by the doorbell. _She works so hard. Way to hard._ 'And if I don't hurry Quinn might kick me out for letting them wake her up from her beauty rest.'

Paul winced in sympathy he knew Quinn's temper, had been on the receiving end on a couple of occasions. But Quinn loved Brittany to pieces so he always put up with her. She was good for Brittany. 'How is Ms Thang?'

'Working to hard, and some nights cries herself to sleep.' Brittany sighed, she had never stood in Quinn's way when she had decided to become a Police Officer, but sometimes she wished she had chosen something that would break her heart a little less often. But just like dancing was her calling, being a detective was Quinn's, it suited her completely. 'And if you ever call her that t her face, she might just shoot you.'

Paul shrugged easily, he had been threatened with just that by Quinn herself on a few occasions. So it didn't bother him to much. _He made it a point to get under her skin. She was usually so calm and collected, but he apparently had that most rare of gifts. The gift of irritating her._ 'I can handle her. But I actually wanted to ask whether you had time sometime this week? I wanted to talk shop with you.'

'The studio is doing ok, right?' Brittany asked, just a little panic in her voice. She might not be able to bring herself to actually go in there, but it was incredibly important to her that it stayed open and thrived.

'Whoa, yea of course it is. Actually it's doing so well we are having trouble keeping up with demand. I wanted to talk to you about opening another studio actually.' Paul pack peddled fast, he should have led with that. He knew how much the studio meant to Brittany.

'Another one, can I afford that?' Brittany frowned, she hadn't taken a look at her financials in a while. She really didn't have to. She knew she was well off. But opening another studio was going to take some serious money.

'Sweety with the choreography you do,which by the way brings in an insane amount of money! You own one of the hottest dance studios around. You can afford it. Trust me, I checked and re checked.' Paul pushed a file into her hands. 'Brit I know it might not be the best time to bring this up, but just take a look. I did the research and I even checked out a few possible locations. Think about it?'

Brittany frowned at the pink folder in her hand. She had never really thought about the possibility of opening another studio, but maybe that was the answer. Maybe that was exactly what she needed to get her feet back under her. 'I promise to take a look, but I seriously have to run now.'

'Say hi to Ms Thang!' Paul waved as she ran off. He hoped that he had done the right thing. Brittany needed something new. And he hoped that a new studio could be just what she needed.

* * *

Santana was fuming, she was beyond pissed. Because of her idiot soldiers she had gotten an hour long ass chewing about not being able to control them and that if I didn't get them under control soon they would demote her. And all that because Private Jensen thought it would be funny to cellophane the toilets in the Officers bathrooms. The base Commander sure as hell didn't think it was funny. And neither did Santana. And neither would anyone else, least of all Jensen. 'Private Jensen front and centre!' She bellowed as she walked into their classroom.

Jensen jumped up and walked to the front of the room, a little smile playing on his lips. He had after all had a very productive morning. 'Sergeant?'

Santana wanted to smack him upside the head so badly she could feel her hands itching. But that would be way to easy. No he wanted to play dirty, she was down with that. She had years of experience on him. She held up a mop in her hand. 'Jensen what is this?'

'A mop Sergeant.' Jensen answered a little confused.

'And this?' Santana held up some cleaning fluids.

'Uhm toilet cleaner.' Jensen was suddenly not so happy any more.

'And this?' Santana held up a bucket so that Jensen could see it clearly.

Jensen swallowed hard. _Oh fuck. _'A bucket Sergeant.'

'And what do we do with these articles Jensen?' Santan asked arching her eyebrow and then looked around the room and could see everyone shifting uncomfortably. _Oh yea they knew, and they now know I know._

'Uhm you clean with them Sergeant.' Jensen had a very bad feeling now. His good mood had turned sour in a hurry.

'Oh good means I won't have to explain it to you.' Santana thrust the articles at Jensen. 'Seeing as you volunteered to give the Janitorial staff a break for the foreseeable future.' Santana grinned as the penny dropped for Jensen. _Now to drop it for the rest. _'Oh don't worry ladies, gents you all did.' Santana sat behind her desk just enjoying the moment. 'Until I think you have learned your lesson you will be responsible for cleaning every single one of the bathrooms here. Starting after our actual work here. Is that understood?'

'Yes Sergeant.' Came the less than enthusiastic reply.

'Not so funny now, is it? I got my ass chewed because you all think you are still in Grade School and playing tricks on your superiors is a good idea!' Santana snapped loudly. 'If you want to be treated like you are still five I'll happily oblige! I hope you like cleaning cause there are a lot of bathrooms in this place. And be sure I will check and if they don't gleam at all times I will really start having fun. Cause you all seem to love to have fun.' Santana could see Saber and Mills gearing up to give her back talk, and she really had no patients for that. 'And one word and I will tell the Base Commander this is a permanent arrangement! I will not tolerate back talk and I won't tolerate any more juvenile pranks, is that understood!'

They all looked at each other. They all knew they had pushed to far, and also that Sergeant Lopez pushed back, hard. 'Yes Sergeant!'

'Jensen in addition to your new tittle you have a five day rip and a written reprimand. Also strike one Jensen, two more and you are gone. Understood?' Santana asked.

Jensen nodded miserably, it had seemed like such a good idea. Now he was going to have everyone on his back about it. And really it wasn't like they had actually tried to stop him.'Yes Sergeant.'

'Now lets get to work.' Santana picked up a big bag then threw it on the ground in front of her desk. 'Today I want to see your skills. So Jensen you will be our patient.' She got up then took Jensen out of the room and gave him his symptoms then watched as the others tried to asses him while she assessed them.

* * *

Brittany lent against the door frame as she watched Quinn sleep. It had been such a surprise how cute Quinn looked when she slept, she always looked like a tortoise all wrapped up in her blankets you could hardly see that it was Quinn. Brittany had nearly had a fit the first time she had seen it. And Quinn hated waking up, she was the grumpiest person Brittany knew when she woke up. But that didn't matter to her, she had ample experience in how to wake Quinn up with only minimum blood loss. The key was having coffee at the ready. 'Hey sleepyhead.' She shook the Quinn lump lightly then chuckled when Quinn grumbled still asleep. 'It's time to get up.'

'Fuck off.' Quinn muttered only half awake.

Brittany rolled er eyes, Quinn became very colourful when waking up. 'I have coffee.'

'Fine stay.' Quinn grumbled as she ventured her head out from under the blanket. 'I'm mad at you.'

'I am so sorry Quinn, I didn't mean to be late.' Brittany bit her lip to keep from laughing. Quinn looked to cute with her hair sticking everywhere.

'Why did I have to get up from my perfectly comfy bed to let in the freakishly tall people then?' Quinn grumbled as she grabbed the cup in Brittany's hand.

Brittany made herself comfortable as she watched Quinn sip and wake up a little more. 'I ran into Paul and he wanted to have a quick word, he says hi by the way.'

'Little fucker.' Quinn growled, she and Paul had a definite love hate relationship. 'What did he want?'

Brittany ignored Quinn's slur, she would never say anything like that when she was fully awake. But it was amusing when she did. 'He thinks I should open another studio.'

Quinn sipped her coffee as she thought about it. It actually could be a good idea. 'What do you think?'

'I'm not sure yet. But I am thinking about it.' Brittany shrugged then shoved Quinn lightly. 'How about you go shower and I'll heat up dinner for us? Then you tell me all about Santana!' She grinned she was proud of herself for letting Quinn sleep and not charging into her room to ask her about it as soon as she had gotten home.

Quinn snorted, she knew that was coming. Brittany had been absolutely furious about not telling her that she had given Santana her number. But she calmed down when Quinn had promised that she would get every little detail of their lunch meeting. 'Actually I think I might like a bath. My back is fucking killing me.'

'That bad?' Brittany got up and headed to the bathroom to run the bath. Quinn only ever took a hot bath when her back was really bothering her. Brittany hated the fact that it still did. And the constant reminder on Quinn's back. She had a lot of battle scars, more than Brittany cared to think about.

'Mhhh, the hot water should be good rnough though. Thanks Brit.' Quinn stretched carefully then got up to join Brittany in the bathroom.

'You work to hard.' Brittany lightly admonished as she poured Quinn's favourite bath salt into the tub.

'Maybe, but I love my job.' Quinn groaned as she slipping into the hot water and lent her head back. 'Oh god that feels good.'

'Now tell me about Santana.' Brittany ordered as she made herself comfortable. 'How did lunch go?'

'It didn't really go.' Quinn sighed, their lunch had been way to short to get any kind of read on Santana. But at least she hadn't looked as scared as she had before. 'We were just really getting past the intense awkwardness when she got called away.'

Brittany huffed unhappily. 'Well that sucks.'

'Pretty much.' Quinn agreed as she closed her eyes letting the hot water soothe her stiff back. 'We did talk a little though.'

'Ok?' Brittany waited, with Quinn that was always the best tactic.

'She is a Sergeant First Class in New York to stay for now. She's been deployed as a combat medic. She got hurt which is why she is here now. And no I don't know what happened. I think she's a teacher now, or instructor is what she said.' Quinn smiled at the last bit of information flitting around her mind. 'And she doesn't drink coffee any more. Although I don't think it's a voluntary thing. She kept eyeing the cup I got her.'

'Did she look hurt?' Brittany asked worriedly. Filing away the things Quinn had mentioned. She would think about them later when she got back to her studio.

'I really couldn't see anything obvious. I told you about the scars on her face and neck, they look pretty recent and went down into her shirt. So it might be that.' Quinn shrugged, she really wished she had more information.

'Are you seeing her again?' Brittany took the sponge Quinn handed her and started scrubbing Quinn's back for her.

'Honestly don't know, she had no time to explain, and if you hadn't noticed I have been snoozing the afternoon away. So no clue if she tried to call.' Quinn sighed happily as Brittany gently rubbed a particularly nasty knot out for her. 'Ugh you are so good at that.'

Brittany chuckled and kissed the top of Quinn's head. 'I've had years of practise. So if she hasn't called are you gonne?'

'Do you think I should?' Quinn lent back once Brittany was done, not quite ready to get out of the tub just yet. The water was still good and hot.

Brittany cocked her head then slowly nodded her head. 'I think you should. I mean if she doesn't want to talk she won't answer, but she'll at least know that you are still interested in catching up.' Brittany got up slowly, she could see that Quinn wanted some alone time. Time to think. 'I'm going to heat up dinner for you.'

'Thanks Brit.' Quinn closed her eyes again as Brittany left. She was trying to figure out why her lunch with Santana was weighing so heavily on her. She had missed Santana that she was well aware of. But maybe she had missed her more than she had realised. _You've become like this big puzzle, some pieces I know and recognized but most are a mystery._

* * *

'Dre baby please don't drown me?' Santana laughed as she tried to give Alejandra her bath. But her daughter seemed to have other ideas. She kept splashing and thrashing happily. Drenching Santana in the process. 'You are such a little trouble maker huh?' She finally just gave up and shrugged her own clothes off and started running the bath. Sometimes it was just easier getting in the tub with her than trying to stay dry. 'I see how it is little missy. And don't you think you got away with being a little cranky pants today. Millie told me all about that.' She held the wiggling Alejandra safely in her arms as she tested the waters temperature. 'You are so much like me, but you should really stop giving Millie such a hard time baby. She is your mama's only real friend here.' Santana carefully slipped into the water as soon as she sat Alejandra down she started splashing again. 'You are just a little trouble maker aren't you?' Santana carefully washed Alejandra as good as she could. Sometimes Alejandra just simply refused to let her bathe her. 'So I saw Quinn today. She's detective, can you believe that?' Santana was still trying to figure out how the Quinn she knew became this new Quinn. One that was a detective. And she wasn't stupid, she knew that Quinn was still very young and that making detective that young meant either you had really good connections or you made your bones. And she was pretty sure that Quinn would never accept anything for free. And that was something she didn't think could change, no matter how many years had passed. 'She looked really happy. And I kept wondering if she was married, and if maybe she had her own little carbon copies running around. It was so odd. But we didn't get that far, my monkeys made a mess of things again. ' Alejadra giggled and splashed Santana some more. 'Yea yea you are only concerned with drowning your mama, I know.' Santana chuckled as she awkwardly washed herself while keeping one arm firmly around Alejandra. 'Not hint but trouble!' She teased her daughter. When she finally managed to get them both out of the tub and dried off it was time to breastfeed Alejandra. She knew her girl, she would more than likely fall asleep halfway through, not that Santana minded she loved their quiet time. 'Come on lets go get comfy.'

* * *

Quinn bit her lip as she stared at her phone, she nearly had to go and had still not called Santana. _You are such a chicken shit sometimes. Man up and call! _Quinn finally opened her phone and searched for Santana's name. 'Here goes nothing.

_'Hullo'_

Quinn groaned, she had just woken Santana up she was pretty sure. 'Shit I'm sorry, I woke you, didn't I?'

Santana rubbed her face then blushed. Alejandra was still nuzzled against her breast. _'Uhm...sort of.' _

'I'm so sorry.' Quinn winced maybe calling hadn't been the best idea after all.

_'It's ok. And I'm up now.' _Santana yawned, she hadn't meant to doze off. It had just been a trying day. And she guessed she should have called Quinn to apologize properly. She had intended to, but sleep seemed beat her to the punch.

'I was just calling to see if you were ok, you were of like shot earlier?' Quinn asked checking her watch to make sure she still had a few minutes.

_'Ugh don't remind me. One of my monkeys decided it would be hilarious to cellophane the officers toilets. And lets just say that the Base Commander was not amused at all.' _Santana groaned at the memory of having to stand in his office her very existence being brought into question. It was not a fun lunch for her.

_Monkeys? She calls her soldiers monkeys? _Quinn snorted derisively. 'Autsch.'

_'Yea Autsch. I wanted to call earlier, but I didn't want to wake you.' _Santana started to stroke Alejandra's back when she saw her blinking her eyes open slightly. She would probably be up again soon. She wasn't sure how long they had both been sleeping.

Quinn chuckled gratefully. 'I would more than likely told you to go fuck yourself. So it really is for the best you didn't.'

Santana snorted happily, she knew that, she made the mistake only once. She would never ever wake a sleeping Quinn. She would gladly leave that to others who didn't know any better. _'Anyway I know you are probably about to head out, but do you think we could try meeting up again? I mean we were just about done with awkward.' _Santana teased a little.

'I was hoping you would say something like that.' Quinn grinned, relieved that Santana didn't seem to want to run away. 'How about Monday same time same place?'

Santana did a quick mental check then nodded. That would work out perfectly for her. _'I say see you then.'_

'Great! But now I have to go otherwise I'll be late.' Quinn got up and made her way out of the house. 'I'll see you then Santana.'

_'Stay safe Quinn.' _Santana chuckled, she could hear Quinn rustling with her keys just before she hung up. It seemed that their phone calls would remain somewhat awkward. Santana had the distinct feeling that they were a long way away from being done with awkward in general. She wished she understood why. Talking to Quinn had always been hard, even back when they had been friends.

* * *

Brittany huffed as she stretched out her muscles. She had danced for a good hour straight, and her mind was still not set. Santana was the thing that was giving her the most trouble. She had to physically stop herself earlier from going through Quinn's phone and steal her number. She was desperate to talk to Santana, but was pretty sure that calling her out of the blue would be a bad idea. And probably only alienate her from Quinn, with whom she seemed to be forming a tentative something. Brittany wasn't sure if calling it a friendship would be the right term. It was more like an acquaintance. 'This sucks!' She yelled. _I need to talk to someone, or I'll explode! _She picked up her towel and headed into the house, she had a phone call to make.

_'Dr Pierce speaking.'_

Brittany instantly smiled. 'Hi mom.'

Sarah instantly brightened when she heard Brittany's voice. _'Brittany honey its good to hear from you. You should call more often I miss you honey.'_

'Miss you too mom.' Brittany chuckled, her mother was great a little clingy sometimes. But she figured all mother were that. And she had lucked out all in all.

_'Not that I am not thrilled to hear from you hon, but it is pretty out of the blue. Everything ok?' _The concern in Sarah voice was easy to hear. She had had many a sleepless night in the past year worrying about Brittany.

Brittany bit her lip she felt guilty, she knew her mom would immediately think this was about her. And she really was doing ok. 'Mom I'm good, I promise. I actually wanted to ask you something. But you have to promise that you won't go screaming and yelling about our conversation to anyone. Promise?'

Sarah sighed, but it sounded important. She didn't like keeping secrets, but for Brittany she would. _'I won't tell a soul. Promise. Now what's going on?'_

'Mom, do you remember what Santana's parents told you when she disappeared? Can you remember?' Brittany asked she had to figure out what happened back then if she was going to help Santana. It's what friends did, help each other. And she had decided she wanted to help. And she just really missed Santana and wanted her back.

Sarah sat down on one of her kitchen chairs, suddenly feeling old. Brittany hadn't brought up Santana for a really long time. She of course knew that Brittany had never let things go. She had been so mad that people wouldn't believe her when she had insisted that Santana wouldn't just leave without telling her. It had been one of the reasons why that drove a wedge between her and a lot of her friends to this day. _'It's been a really long time honey.'_

'Mom, I know you never told me exactly what they told you. But mom I really need to know. Please?' Brittany voice was soft and pleading. She had never pushed her mother on the subject before, but things were different now.

_'What does it even matter now Brit. She'll still be gone. There is no reason to tarnish her memory any further. With something that more than likely be nothing like the truth.' _Sarah really didn't want to let Brittany know that all the horrible rumours that had ripped through Lima about why Santana had suddenly up and disappeared were started by her parents. No Sarah didn't want her to know, it had broken her heart, and she was sure it would break Brittany's too.

'Tell me damn it mom! I have the right to know.' Brittany snapped angrily, why did some people always treat her as if she was a child still. She had lost that innocence a long time ago. And she had grown up so much since then.

_'They told me that Santana had gotten in with the wrong crowd and that she had run of with some dubious man. It was so clear what they were implying, and I know they said worse to others' _Sarah finally answered. How they had been ablt to be so cruel to Santana was something that Sarah would never understand. Because she would lay down her life for one of her children no questions asked.

The air in Brittany's lungs rushed out. 'They started that rumour! Those fucking assholes! Santana would never, ever do something like that.'

_'I know, which is why I never told you. But why are you suddenly digging up the past hon, don't you think you have enough to deal with?' _Sarah asked worried that Brittany was trying to distract herself from her issues so she didn't have to deal with them.

'Quinn saw her.' Brittany whispered. 'Quinn ran into Santana, they had coffee.'

Sarah felt like the rug had just been pulled out from under her. At least now Brittany's insistence made sense. Of course she would want to know what was what. She would of course try and help. _'She's ok?'_

Brittany smiled, her mom had always loved Santana as well. 'Yes, Quinn seems to think so. But that is besides the point now. She doesn't know about me yet, and I have to keep busy or I am going to just jump her! So I am going to find out what happened. I need to know.'

Sarah nodded to herself. _'I'll try and help, but I make no promises the Lopez's are not my favourite people. You know that.'_ Sarah bit her lip if Santana was really back, it would be wonderful to see her. She had always been a favourite. She was one of the first people to treat her daughter right and not tease and pick on her. She had been a permanent fixture for a long time. And maybe Santana was exactly what Brittany needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, first off thank you so much for you have reviewed I really appreaciate it. No people don't hate me, there is a little Rachel Brit friction in this in the beginning. I am not turning Rachel into a badguy though so please don't get mad. But she went through let us say a crazy phase. But read you'll understand. She'll make it up to evreyone though. Oh and a little more of the past is revealed. Hope you like. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Brittany tapped her finger on the table of the little run down bohemian Café as she waited. She still wasn't sure if this was a good idea. But her quest for answers had of course led her here. But that didn't mean that she had to be happy about it. And she most certainly wasn't. 'Stupid Rachel Berry.' She muttered darkly. Although they now managed to be somewhat civil towards each other because they worked in the same circles. Brittany was not a Rachel fan. The first time they had come across each other on a Broadway stage Brittany had flat out refused to work with her. It had taken a lot of pleading from Qiunn to get Brittany agree to do it, but in the end she gave in. And since then they worked together, but that was it. Quinn sometimes saw Rachel socially, they had somewhat buried the hatchet. Brittany wasn't quite ready for that though.

'Hello Brittany I hope you haven't been waiting long?' Rachel said somewhat unsure of herself. This was the first time in ten years that Brittany had willingly sought her out, and by the look on her face she wasn't exactly happy to be there.

'No I was early. I would say it's good to see, but I don't like to blatantly lie.' Brittany muttered then decided that sipping her coffee might just be a good idea, before she really said something offensive.

Rachel's shoulders sagged a little. She had really hoped that maybe Brittany was maybe finally ready to bury the past in the past. She understood full well that Brittany had every right to be angry. But Rachel had grown up since then. She just wished Brittany would see that. 'Brittany if you don't want me here I can just go. I don't want to stir things up. It's been a really long time.'

'That is exactly what I want though.' Brittany said after a few breathes to calm her down. 'I have some questions and you will answer them. After...we'll see where things stand.'

'Do I even have a say in this?' Rachel asked already feeling tired and drained. She should have known this was not going to be a happy reunion. _But I am an optimist first and foremost._

Brittany shook her head. 'You owe me at least that. I know exactly what you spread around about me after Santana left. You might have thought I was dumb, but I wasn't death.'

'I was a stupid teenager Brittany and I have apologized to you countless times! I don't know what you want from me. I made mistakes, so many, but I have repeatedly tried to make things right.' Rachel tried to reason, but was only met with a glare.

'I was never ever mean to you. I always treated you like a friend when you were getting bullied. And you turned around and threw that in my face.' Brittany growled softly, she didn't really want to make a public spectacle. But it still hurt, and apparently she was pretty good at holding some grudges.

Rachel looked at her hands then back up at Brittany. 'Maybe I do owe you. So ask whatever it is what you want to know. But after that I am done, I am done feeling guilty for being a stupid child! Because that is what I was. And if I could go back I would smack myself for being so stupid.'

'Did you know Finn was going to out Santana?' _And for that matter me, and we weren't even together then! _It was one of the most important questions to Brittany. She had never been able to find that out. That was what had started the whole fucked up situation they found themselves in now.

Rachel shook her head. She might have not have done a damn thing when it had happened, but she hadn't known about it. 'No, I didn't. And I hate myself for not sticking up for her. My daddies have never really forgiven me for that either or the things I did and said after Santana disappeared.'

Brittany nodded to herself. Rachel had somewhat saved herself with that answer. 'I know you never liked Santana, and I know why. But what I want to know is where you heard the shit you were spewing about her and for that matter me.'

Rachel winced as she recalled all the things she had called Santana and Brittany and later on Quinn when Quinn refused to side with them, but stuck with Brittany and they both quit Glee. 'I don't remember, and I'm not lying about that. I was just...I was furious that you left Glee taking Quinn and Puck with you. And I heard the insults somewhere and I took my anger out on you.'

'So because you were angry you told the whole school that Santana and me let the whole Football team have their way with us whenever they wanted? Because you were angry you called me dumb and stupid and idiot, whore or slut? Because you were mad you tried sabotaged my audition for Juilliard? Because you were angry you started flinging slushies at me? Because you were angry you outed Quinn because she dared defend me? Do you have any idea how many guys tried to grope me and Quinn?' Brittan hissed loudly, she had been holding that in for years. 'Tell me Rachel do your daddies know about that? Because you were worse than Finn, he did it because he is a narrow minded idiot, you did it out of spite. Luckily Quinn's mom already knew.'

Rachel could feel tears run down her cheeks, she deserved this she knew. She had been ten times worse than Santana ever was. She had turned into her worst nightmare. Worst of all she had never really tried to make proper amends. Just another thing Brittany was able to rub in. She just truthfully didn't know how. 'I'm sorry.'

'Quinn is quick to forget and forgive, I'm not. You want to prove you are a better person now prove it.' Brittany ignored the tears she had spent days on end crying and trying to figure out what she had ever done to get treated like she was. She was never mean, or said things behind peoples backs. Or cried because Quinn had once again tried to defend her again only to be targeted. Or for Puck who always tried to fight off anyone who tried anything with her or Quinn. She felt little sympathy for Rachel right at that moment. Maybe when she calmed down some and thought things through.

'How?' Rachel breathed out after a while.

'Find out where that fucking rumour was started. And apologize to Quinn. I know you never have. You still have a lot of growing up to do Rachel. Be honest with yourself.' Brittany said softly as she got up. That was about as much Rachel Berry as Brittany could handle in one day.

* * *

Santana was beyond excited. She had Alejandra nice and cuddled in her crib as she waited for her Skype call. It had been months since she had last talked to Dolly and she was thrilled that Dolly seemed to have gotten some internet access. It wasn't always easy, but every now and then it worked out. _Come one come on! _Santana nearly fell over her when Skype started ringing. 'Dolly?'

'Hola chica!' Sergeant Ingrid Dalton yelled out as she grinned at Santana. She and Santana had met at basic training and they had immediately just clicked. Santana had early on coined her nickname Dolly. She was tall blond blue eyed and had that country twang. And she just seriously looked a little like Dolly Parton, and apparently everyone had agreed. The name had just instantly stuck and so had their friendship. They had gone to hell and back with each other.

Santana rolled her eyes at Dolly. 'How many times do I have to tell you, you can not speak Spanish? You sound like an idiot, when you do.'

'Oh whatever wifey where is my baby?' Dolly flipped Santana off, she had no qualms about pissing Santana off. She had done so countless times. And Santana returned the favour just as many times. 'Come on please I haven't seen Dre in for ever.'

Santana laughed but got Alejandra from her crib then got comfy in front of the computer. 'Look baby, it's your aunty Dolly.'

'Oh San, she's gorgeous.' Dolly watched in awe as Santana gently held her daughter. She was so beautiful, they both were. And Santana looked at peace. Something that she didn't think she had seen before Alejandra. Sure Santana had been happy, but not at peace.

'I know, right?' Santana chuckled as she kissed the top of Alejandra's head.

'She's ok now though, right?' Dolly couldn't take her eyes of the baby. To say she had been shocked when Santana had confided in her that she was pregnant would be an understatement. She knew that Santana had out of grief latched onto someone just as much as he had latched on to her. And Alejandra was the result. _Out of tragedy something wonderful was created._

Santana nodded, Dolly had nearly cried harder than she had when Alejandra was born three months early. And she hand been there for Santana as well as she could being so far away. She had called in countless favours so that she had been able to talk to Santana nearly every day, until Alejandra was finally out of the worst of danger. 'Yea, she's getting bigger too. She's still tiny, but she's a hand full. But my angel.'

'I can see that! And she is totally you kid, how could she not be a handful? You look really good San.' Dolly said it softly, the last year or so had been so hard for them both, and she knew that Santana had taken it particularly hard.

'It's so weird being here though, I feel like a fish out of water.' Santana frowned as she tried to figure out how best to explain herself.

Dolly nodded, neither of them had been home home in a long time. Not really. A few weeks here and there, but not for good. 'So how is New York? I mean you gotta tell me everything, I have always wanted to go.'

Santana shook her head happily. 'It's loud and it's still surprising that people ignore each other so much. You can be totally alone in a huge crowd. And I got overwhelmed at the Starbucks! It's insane really.'

'And yet you look happy, well still a little on the lonely side, but happy.' Dolly didn't waste time on asking about Santana's new posting that was not why she called. She wanted to catch up with her friend.

'Well the desert look still rocks for you.' Santana teased good naturedly. 'I guess I am happy.' Santana frowned a little, but was almost immediately distracted when her daughter grabbed her hair. 'No, no baby please, don't pull out all my hair.' She lightly admonished as she pried her hair free.

Dolly's eyebrow arched, she had not missed the frown. Something was up. 'Ok Lopez spill.'

'What?' Santana blinked a little confused until she saw Dolly's face. 'It's nothing, so you can get your knickers unbunched thank you very much.'

Dolly sat back and smirked, she knew Santana better than that. 'If it were nothing you would have told me, now spill or I will seriously start in on you wifey!'

'Whatever Dol and I would have told you anyway, I was just working my way up to it. And stop calling me that!' Santana huffed indignantly. 'I ran into someone.'

Dolly frowned as she tried to puzzle that one out. 'I'm gonna need a bit more there San.'

Santana got up and put Alejandra back in her crib, to buy herself some time. She didn't exactly understand why she needed it though. Maybe it was because Dolly would know what it would mean to Santana. 'I was getting some fruity drink at Starbucks and when I walked out, Quinn came running out after me. I saw Quinn.'

'Holly shit!' Dolly's eyes went comically wide. _Well that is not what I was expecting. She must be having all kinds of weirdness going around that stubborn ass head of hers. _'Did you talk to her?'

Santana snorted, Dolly was going to have a field day. 'I ran. She said hi and I all but took off like a shot.'

Dolly groaned, that was actually exactly what she thought would happen. Santana didn't know how to handle her past. She had dealt with the ramifications and all that. But she didn't know what to do with that deep seated hope to get some of it back. Some people that Dolly knew full well Santana missed terribly. _You are such an idiot sometimes! _'Please tell me you are joking!'

Santana bit her lip as she shook her head. 'I was shocked ok!' She defended lamely. She didn't get it either. 'And before you start ranting at me, she did manage to give me her card.'

'And?' Dolly pursed her lips and stared at Santana. She could not let Santana mess this chance up.

'Don't look at me like that, I called. Ok?' Santana muttered softly. 'We tried to have lunch on Wednesday, but I got called away about ten minutes in.'

'Well colour me impressed.' Dolly nodded satisfied with the fact that Santana wasn't pulling a Santana and shying away from what she really wanted. _Sometimes you just need a hard kick in the ass San._ 'So tell me about her?'

'Not much to tell, it was awkward as all hell. I mean we sat there and exchanged job descriptions.' Santana didn't like the fact, but they would have to work up to things. Always had to.

'Ok so what does she do?' Dolly asked, Santana had told her all the stories. About Quinn and Brittany and Glee and cheerleading. She knew them all. She was curious as all hell what would happen between Santana and Quinn. They seemed to have had some interesting tension between them.

Santana grinned happily. 'She's a cop.'

'Ms Yale is a cop?' Dolly frowned, now there was a story to that she was sure.

'I was just as surprised, and she is good. Detective with SVU.' Santana bragged then wanted to smack herself. _What am I doing? We are barely friends again._

Dolly chuckled, this was going to be good for Santana she just didn't know it yet. 'Sounds like it. But San I have to go. Be good and for gods sake for once just go with it.' Dolly blew Santana a kiss. 'That's is for Dre. Talk soon.'

'Stay safe Dolly.' Santana said just before they were cut off and she was left with her own thoughts and worries. 'And I promise I won't run off again. I do want to get to know Quinn again. She seems even more of a mystery.' _So many things I want to ask and know. And I know it's the same for her. We have a Grand Canoyn of unspoken things between us. This could get so damn messy._

* * *

'God I'm glad that is over.' Kerry grumbled as she and Quinn handed of the last of their paperwork. 'Another week of being the good guys done.'

Quinn snorted as she rubbed her temples, she was beyond tired. _The kids always get to me the most. God some people should be taken out back and shot like in the good old days! _'You heading home or over to Adam?'

'Oh I wish, but he's working. Just my luck.' Kerry grumbled as they made their way out of the station house. 'You wanne grab something, you look like you need it before you head home?'

Quinn nodded gratefully and followed Kerry on the short walk to a close by Café. 'Just a really long week.'

'I noticed, wanne clue me in?' Kerry asked as she quickly ordered two coffees for them and a sandwich for Quinn.

Quinn took her time to sip at her coffee, trying to figure out what was keeping her awake more. Santana, or the memories of what happened after or the horrible case they were working. 'Wouldn't exactly know where to start truth be told.'

'Well what's bugging you the most.' Kerry didn't push to much, she had learned early on to let Quinn do her thing. She was a thinker where Kerry was more a doer. That is probably why they worked so well together.

'Bugging wouldn't be the right word.' Quinn smiled softly. Santana won out, she was what was running around her mind the most. 'Santana.'

Kerry sat back and laughed. 'This is about a girl? Really?' Kerry of course knew that Quinn was gay it was most definitely not a secret. 'So who is Santana and is she good looking or what?'

Quinn growled at Kerry, sometimes she could be an utter pig. 'It's not like that. God how to explain it? Santana up and disappeared ten years ago and Monday I ran into her. She used to be one of my closest friends. And we never knew exactly what happened to her. It's just thrown me a little. And of course stirred the pot on some memories.'

'Ok so definitely not like that. So that's what happened Monday. I was wondering. But you seemed off the whole week so it kind of blended in with the rest.' Kerry scratched the back of her neck. 'You never talk much about your past.'

Quinn chuckled, Kerry was never really subtle always just bluntly asked if and when she wanted to know somethin. 'It's not the worst or the best past. Just a lot I would rather forget as I dealt with them as they came, but Santana is...different.'

'Always so close lipped. But ok so you ran into her and then what?' Kerry poured more sugar into her cup getting the feeling she might need the extra boost.

'We tried to have lunch on Wednesday, but she got called away. We just got the job thing out of the way.' Quinn took a bite of her sandwich mulling things over yet again.

Kerry growled lightly getting Quinn to talk was sometimes like pulling teeth from a chicken. She just didn't really give at all. 'Do you want this Santana back in your life?' _Lets try another approach then. Stuborn person!_

'Without a doubt, I do.' Quinn didn't have to even think about it. She wanted Santana back more than she understood why. And she was not at the point where she was going to try and figure out just why that was.

'So I am guessing you two were close back then?' Kerry asked grinning to herself. She got at least one straight answer from Quinn. That was something.

Quinn snorted loudly and shook her head. 'We were something that's for sure. I think she said once that we were both a hot, angry, lost, inconsolable, frustrated, scared mess. And I truly can't say she wasn't right. And I think that was in one of our we want to strangle each other phases. I do think she slapped me right after she said that.'

Kerry's mouth hung open, well that was not what she had expected. She thought that maybe this Santana was Quinn's first crush or something like that. 'Uhm...so not that close?'

'Oh we were all over the map, but when push came to shove we always had each others backs. And Brit never let things get to far, she was good at handling both of us.' Quinn grinned, oh those were some interesting days. She missed those, and she did realise that was a little sadistic maybe. But she did. They were some of her favourite memories.

'Brit? As in blond tall and sexy?' Kerry asked, because of course she knew Brittany. Hell Brittany visited Quinn enough times for people to really speculate about them a lot. Herself included. But she hadn't known that they had been in school together. _Might explain why they are so close._

'Yes tall blond and sexy.' Quinn laughed lightly, she still remembers the first time Brittany had waltzed into the station house. It was hilarious it was even funnier when she walked up to Quinn and gave her a friendly peck on the lips. Just about everyone's jaws hit the floor then. Brittany always had that effect on people. She was carelessly sexy. 'We all grew up together.'

'Ok then.' Kerry mumbled nothing for a year of knowing Quinn and now she was being overloaded. 'You do know I don't understand this at all?'

'Well aware, and I can't say I do either. I just know I don't want to mess this up. I want her in my life and I know Brittany would kill to have her back. You haven't seen two people connected until you've seen them. When we were younger I always thought they somehow shared a brain they were so in tune with each other.' Quinn shrugged, she truly didn't know how to explain how she felt. Her mind was just everywhere at once. And she just hoped it calmed enough so she could figure it out.

'Well then I think the best you can do is go home get some sleep and take it as it comes.' Kerry said as she took her last sip. 'Things tend to happen like they should, don't think so much.'

Quinn laughed, that sounded a lot like Brittany's advice. 'I've been told that a lot actually. But I can't exactly tell my brain to shut off.'

'Then go get some sleep. Maybe then your brain will see things clearer.' Kerry rolled her eyes as she grabbed her purse. 'Come on lets get out of here, I am about to pass out.' _I wonder how this is going to play. I am going to have to keep an eye on her. Don't want her to get lost in that big head of hers, not healthy._

'Fine, and thanks.' Quinn said honestly. She knew that Kerry wondered a lot about her. She wasn't very forthcoming. But then she had always had trouble trusting people. Even Kerry who she trusted with her life.

* * *

Rachel groaned in relief when she opened the door to her home and was immediately greeted by little arms around her leg. 'Hey big boy.' She smiled as she picked up her four year old son.

'Mommy you're home!' Mason Berry-Finch mumbled happily as Rachel walked into her home.

'I am. Were you a good boy for your daddy?' Rachel asked as she set him down when she reached the kitchen.

'He was indeed, we went to the park and he smoozed with all the pretty girls there.'

Rachel grinned at her husband as he appeared from the living room giving her a quick kiss. 'Well he takes after his daddy then. Don't you Mase?'

'Uh huh, I got to pet a dog. He was so cute.' Mason smiled up at Rachel charmingly. He had been trying to get his parents to get him one for ages.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head no. 'We are not getting a dog Mase.' She kissed him on top of the head when he stomped out of the kitchen. He was sometimes just to cute for words. And a lot like her. _Perfect little storm off. I'm so proud. _'Love you baby boy.' She called after him smiling.

'So, how was it?'

'Terrible Pat, I swear I have never heard Brittany talk like she did today. I mean I have gotten so used to her just simply ignoring me. But this was a reminder of all the things I did wrong and then some. And the worst part of it was, she was right about most of the things she said.' Rachel sat down at their breakfast bar then plunked her head against the cool counter top.

'Rach?' Patrick looked at Rachel worried. He had told her it wasn't a good idea to go meet up with Brittany. But Rachel being Rachel had ignored him. He didn't know whether it was out of guilt or just plain optimism that she had gone.

Rachel sighed and lifted her head back up. 'Don't Rach me. She was right. I might be sorry for the things I did, but I have never even apologized for them properly. I mean I am friends with Quinn and I have never apologized for outing her Pat. And she has apologized a thousand times for what she did to me. And I was ten times worse than her on her worst day. And Brittany, god the way I treated her? I have no excuses, and that is what I have given myself over the years. Excuses as to why it was ok. I was a kid. I was angry at the world. It was payback. But the thing is Brittany never did anything to hurt me. She was my friend. And I made her pay for the fact that she didn't see things the way I wanted her to see them.'

Patrick pulled Rachel into him and hummed lightly. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of that. He knew his wife wasn't perfect, and neither was he. But they were good people now no matter what had happened in the past. 'What do you want to do?'

'Make it right. Apologize to Quinn and Brittany. And do it properly. And help Brittany find the answers she seems to want so badly.' Rachel whispered as her mind started working on exactly how she could do al that. _And I need to talk dad and daddy. Brittany was right I should own up and deal with the consequences. They might also be able to help. Dad does work with Dr Lopez at the Hospital._

'Should I start making that frothy coffee you like so much now or later?' Patrick chided Rachel lightly.

Rachel blushed a little. Patrick knew her so well. 'Might just have to start now. I'm going to be busy with this. It's a lot to work through. But I will.' _And I will get Brittany to forgive me._

'I figured.' Patrick kissed her as she pulled away to get to her laptop. He knew this Rachel very well. She wasn't going to stop now until she got what she wanted. Determined was an understatement for Rachel when she got something in her head. _Like a pit-bull with a bone. Look out Pierce Rachel's on the warpath._

* * *

Quinn sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. There was no way she was going to get any sleep. Her mind was just not shutting down, and it was to damn bright. She hated night shifts. They always messed with her already pretty messed up inner clock. _I wonder if Brit's back? _After another thirty minutes of tossing and turning Quinn got up and groaned loudly. She would definitely have to take a hot bath later. She could probably get Brit to work her magic again. 'Brit?' She called out when she got to the kitchen, but got no reply. On a whim she picked up he phone and dialled Santana's number as she grabbed ingredients to make some eggs and bacon. _She's probably busy anyway._

_'Quinn?' _Santan answered on the third ring, actually glad to hear from Quinn. Maybe she could help her out.

'Oh uhm yea Hi?' Quinn face palmed herself. _Oh my god, seriously Quinn? Seriously?_

Santana started laughing as she walked around trying to find where she wanted to go. _'You do realize you called me, right?'_

Quinn felt herself blush, sometimes she swore she acted like a teenager still. 'I didn't actually think you would pick up.'

_'You called me cause you thought I wouldn't pick up?' _Santana asked the whole situation was amusing her to no end. She had Quinn obviously stumbling over herself.

'Well if you put it like that it sounds odd.' Quinn admitted chuckling to herself. 'Ok how about I was bored, couldn't sleep and was about to cook some...breakfast and thought maybe you would be around?'

Santana shook her head laughing. She had to admit though, it was nice. And for once there seemed to be little awkwardness. _'That sounds a little better. And can you actually cook anything else than bacon and eggs?'_ Santana had spent many a morning teasing Quinn about the fact that Quinn only ever seemed to be able to cook anything if it was breakfast related. And was curious if that was still the same.

'I'll have you know my repertoire has grown some, thank you very much.' Quinn huffed indignantly, so what if she couldn't really cook. She could do a lot of other things. _And now you're acting like your five! What the hell Quinn._

_'What now you can make omelets and bacon and eggs?' _Santana teased, then burst out laughing when Quinn didn't say anything. _'Oh my god, I'm right aren't I?'_

'Ok so maybe I still can't cook.' Quinn mumbled as she enjoyed the sound of Santana laughter. Even if it was at her expense. 'Where are you anyway?'

Santana growled frustrated at her lack of foresight. _'Central Park. I am trying to find the Zoo. You would think it was easy to find...but no!' _Santana had on a whim decided it was time for her and Alejandra to explore the city. And decided it would be nice to go to the Zoo. Admittedly Alejandra was still a little young to really appreciate it, but she still thought it would nice. If only she could find the damn Zoo.

_The Zoo, gods Santana you are becoming more and more of a mystery. I wonder who you are taking? _'Well where are you maybe I can help?' Quinn asked as she awkwardly broke two eggs into the hot pan then added the bacon.

_'In Central Park?' _Santana asked then started laughing. She was truly lost. And wasn't that a kick in the head.

Qiunn grinned Santana seemed so light today. And happy. 'Well that narrows that down huh?'

_'You know what it doesn't even matter we can have fun just walking around a bit.' _Santana said carelessly, not even noticing her slip.

_So there is a someone, pretty rude to just take a call in the middle of a...date? _'Well I should let you get back to your walking then.' Quinn bit her lip, she was loathe to hang up. But she was obviously interrupting something.

_'Oh yea, thanks. And Quinn get some sleep. See you Monday.' _Santana said the last part softly. She didn't want to step out of line. But she knew that Quinn had had a night shift and three was way to early for her to have gotten any kind of sleep.

'I'll try. But if you get lost again, I am you friendly neighbourhood google maps.' Quinn teased her eggs were just about done so she grabbed a plate. 'Bey Santana.'

_'Stay safe Quinn.' _Santana grinned as she set of in a direction no idea where it would take her. And she really didn't have to, she was free to just enjoy her day with her favourite person.

* * *

Brittany sighed when she walked into her studio to start on her latest project. On the ground in the far corner Quinn was balled into herself sleeping. 'Not again Quinn, what am I gonna do with you?' When Brittany wasn't home and Quinn wanted to talk she usually ended up in her studio and did god only knew what, and inevitably fell asleep on the floor. Brittany knew it only happened when something was really bothering her. And she had a few ideas what it might be this time. But she would have to talk to Quinn about it once she had gotten some more sleep. _You are gonna be so sore Quinn. You have to stop doing stuff like this! _Brittany lent down and gently shook Quinn's shoulder. 'Come one lets get you to your actual bed. My studio is not a squat Quinn, really!'

Quinn blinked her eyes open then groaned. _Fuck! _She had just wanted to stretch out her back a little and as always used Brittany's studio because the bars made it easier for her. Plus she wanted to talk to Brittany. She always calmed down talking to Brittany. 'Again?'

'Yea, come on, you're not even really awake.' Brittany smiled gently as she helped Quinn to her feet. She then gently led her to Quinn's room. 'Now go back to sleep.'

'Stay?' Quinn grumbled unhappily reaching out to Brittany.

Brittany kicked of her shoes then slipped in behind Quinn and pulled Quinn into her front. 'Better?' _Must be having some pretty bad nightmares._

Quinn pushed back a little until she was flush against Brittany and sighed happily. 'Missed you.'

Brittany smiled into the crook of Quinn's neck and kissed her softly. 'You should get some more sleep Quinn. We'll talk tomorrow.'

Quinn turned around eyes blinking open. 'What if I don't wanne sleep.' Quinn nipped Brittany's chin lightly, she absolutely loved it when Brittany held her.

Brittany chuckled. 'Oh sweetie you are way to tired for anything right now. And you and I both know we like to take our time.' She pressed a quick kiss to Quinn's lips then pulled back. 'Now go back to sleep.'

Quinn couldn't say she was happy, but she knew that Brittany was right. She was too tired. 'But you'll stay?'

Brittany nodded her head, she wasn't going anywhere. 'I'm here, now sleep.'

'Key.' Quinn mumbled as she burrowed deeper into Brittany.

Brittany played with Qiunn's hair and smiled she she felt Quinn's body slacken in sleep. Having dated Quinn for nearly four years Brittany knew just about all the ins and outs that were Quinn. And sometimes she knew Quinn just needed someone to pull her close and for a while keep the big old world away. They might not be dating any more, but she would never let Quinn fall. She's always be there to catch her, just like Quinn would never let her fall. And the fact that for the last year they sometimes fell into bed together wasn't a bad thing either they both sometimes needed the release. And things were always so easy with Quinn. 'What am I going to do with you, huh? What am I gonna do with myself for that matter?'


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys:) I wanne thank all of you for reading and to those of you that reviewed...you rock! Now I think I should clear up some things real quick. First of yes this is going to be Quinn and Santana, but it will take a while to get there. Second I am not following canon, I use some canon elements, but my version of it if you will. So guys don't be dissapointed if things are diffrent from the show. And third...I love Rachel so hang in there with me things are not always what they seem. Ok I think that was more than enough from me though. As before...enjoy:)**

* * *

Santana looked around the Starbucks taking in the bustle going on around her. She had managed to get there before Quinn. She had to admit she was actually really looking forward to their lunch. She was still amused by their phone call. It was such an unlikely Quinn thing to do, to just randomly call for the sake of seeing if the person picked up. It did remind her of someone though. _I wonder if we will be going back to awkward as fuck, or only slightly awkward?_

Quinn smiled softly as she watched Santana a second before making her presence known. She really did look good in that uniform. She looked strong and steady. The angry Santana from High School was no where to be seen. And if Quinn had to guess she would say that Santana had learnt how to harness that anger into something more productive. And it looked good on her. _I wonder what you are thinking about so hard? _'Santana hi.' Quinn grinned when Santana didn't react seemed whatever Santana was thinking about was all consuming. She lightly touched Santana's shoulder. 'Sorry you were so preoccupied you didn't hear me.'

Santana closed her eyes a second just to calm herself down. She really hated when people startled her. 'No problem. And hi.' Santana smiled at Quinn motioning her to a chair. 'I got your coffee. Thought that way we would have more time to talk.'

Quinn eyed the coffee but didn't say anything. _Ok that is my order. _

Santana chuckled, well it was nice to know that she could still stump Quinn. 'Quinn you've been drinking your coffee the same for as long as I can remember. We had coffee enough times for me to notice. And you are a creature of habit.'

'You should have become a detective or something.' Quinn teased as she sipped slowly.

Santana rolled her eyes. 'I think one of us gracing that particular calling is enough, but thank you.' She took a sip of her own drink. This time having opted for something warm. It was just that kind of day. Rainy and grey. Which called for hotchocolate. 'So how was the rest of weekend, randomly called an other people?'

Quinn never hated that she was blond more than at that moment. She could feel her ears turn red. _Well how do I answer that. Well yes Santana had a great weekend I had a lovely time with both of our ex, both of our first love? This is why everything feels so awkward! _'No, no only you. And the rest of my weekend was just spent at home sleeping and catching up on house work. How about you, did you ever find the zoo?'

_Oh and I believe that. So there is a boy, but no ring. Interesting. _'No I gave up on the zoo. But I did have a good time.' Santana finally just burst out laughing. 'God how is it that every time we meet up things just couldn't get any more awkward?'

Quinn wrinkled her nose and shrugged. 'I guess we both don't know what subjects are ok to talk about and which are a no no.'

'You have a point.' Santana sat back tapped her her finger on the table top then nodded her mind made up. 'I am not trying to hide anything, but you know I have never been the best at talking.' She bit her lip and looked Quinn in the eye. 'I won't get offended by anything you ask me and I will try and answer as well as I can. Cause I know you well enough to know you have a whole book full of questions. And frankly so do I. So how about we just say anything goes, but if you don't wanto to answer you don't have to.'

Quinn really looked at Santana. It was obvious she meant what she had said. 'Same goes. And I think that some of the questions will be hard for both of us. So how about we take them as they come. Not force them. We have ten years to cover. That is huge. So no shying away from the questions, but no forcing.'

'Agreed.' Santana agreed, that sounded good. It gave them both some breathing space about the things they still didn't want to talk about. _Like Alejandra, how do I bring her up in a conversation?_ 'So who is the guy?'

'Huh?' Quinn blinked a couple of times then couldn't help it she started giggling. Trust Santana to step right into one of the big questions without knowing it. _So totally Santana._

Santana looked on completely perplexed. Quinn was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. 'Well not exactly the response I was expecting, that's for sure.' She said dryly after a few minutes.

'Oh god I'm sorry...it's just...it's been a while since I did this.' Quinn could help one last laugh. _I usually just let people make their own assumptions._ 'Sorry. As I was saying been a while since I had to do this.'

'Do what exactly, cause you aren't really being very specific there Quinn?' Santana cocked her head and waited.

'To answer your question your answer from before. There was definitely no guy. I think the last guy I had was Sam, back at McKinley, or maybe it was Finn. Hell I don't even remember.' Quinn could clearly see total confusion crossing Santana's face. _And why wouldn't she be completely confused. Last she knew I was oh so straight._

'Oh please tell me you haven't joined some weird celibacy cult.' Santana scrunched up her nose. She really was a little lost. And had the feeling what Quinn was saying should be of so obvious. But this was Quinn. She had the ability to utterly confuse Santana without really trying to. She always had.

This of course only set Quinn off again. 'Hardly.' _Ok you are enjoying this way to much._

Santana blinked then it hit her. _Oh my god I am dense. _'No fucking way.'

'Do pride every year and everything.' Quinn grinned at Santana crookedly. As always it felt like a huge relief.

'Who would have thought.' Santana shook her head. 'When did that epiphany hit you?'

Quinn bit her lip smiled sadly. 'Oh about the same time it did you if I had to guess.'

'Wow, I had no idea.' Santana sat back and looked at Quinn hard. 'You had one hell of a poker face.'

Quinn hummed her agreement. 'I learnt from the best. How do you think my mom survived so many years with Russel? I was just getting to the point where I was going to talk to you.' She chuckled when she saw Santana's eyes go wide. 'Don't be so surprised Santana. When Finn outed you I got scared again, and things went to hell for you. Ironically few months later I got involuntarily outed myself. Difference was my mom already knew and was ok with it. And I had bigger things to worry about.'

'You still could have talked to me Quinn. I mean I don't know if I would have been any good for you. But maybe just knowing that we were both not alone...I don't know it might have helped us both.' Santana squeezed Quinn's hand gently. She knew she was very close to crying. _This is why I avoid talking about all this. And now this? _'I am sorry you were outed, I know it sucks.' Santana bit her lip, being outed was one of the worst moments in her life, and she had had more than a few. So she was curious what could have been going on with Quinn that was more worry some. 'Can I ask you what happened...'

Quinn nodded she understood, and was grateful that Santana wasn't demanding just asking. 'You want to know why I am brushing my outing under the rug.' Quinn closed her eyes for a second. 'Around the middle of senior year I was on my way to a wedding when I was hit by a drunk driver. It left me paralysed from the waist down. I mean it was temporary, but I had it basically relearn everything to do with legs.'

'Well fuck me. Yea I would say screw you too to an outing.' Santana looked Quinn once up, trying to make sure she was ok.

Quinn chuckled, that was definitely new. Santana was being caring and even sweet, well that probably wasn't new, he showing it though was. 'You won't see anything. I have bad scaring on my back and some on my shoulder and hip and thigh. But other than that.' She shrugged a little self-consciously.

'I am glad you got through Quinn. And you obviously got out stronger than before.' Santana decided that that was more than enough serious talk. And Quinn was obviously becoming shy about it. And Santana understood, she was not looking forward to explain her own scars when Quinn asked and she knew she would. Scars were in her opinion something so very personal. 'Ok now that we have established that you are a ridiculously strong, stubborn and driven woman. And that you bat for my team. Yea go my team cause you are awesome.' Santana winked at Quinn making her snort, breaking the slight tension had had been growing between them. 'I now want to know who made you blush so cutely before? Tell me Quinn do you have a gorgeous woman waiting for you at home?'

'Uhm...' _How do I handle that one. She said just talk get it out. But me having been with Brit? I don't know. _Quinn had never been so grateful as right that second when her phone started ringing. 'Sorry. Fabray...ok yea I'm on my way pick me up I'm at the Starbucks.'

Santana pouted Quinn obviously had someone and she was so close to finding out who. What fascinated her was that Quinn seemed so reluctant to tell her. It wasn't like she would know the woman. _Must be serious then I guess. _'You know I am going to get it out of you Qiunn eventually, but for now I won't push. Now go and give me a call so we can get together again.'

Quinn bit her lip, well Santana pouting was cute she had to admit. 'Will do. You know Santana we have so much more in common than you think, so much more.'

Santana frowned what was that supposed to mean? 'I'm sure that will make sense at some point. Stay safe Quinn.'

'It will. Bye Santana.' Quinn hurried outside. _I can not believe I just did that._

* * *

Santana glanced up at the knock on her door. She was just about finished with work, and was itching to go get Alejandra so she really didn't want to be caught by one of the other officers, but she really couldn't pretend to be not there. _If I have to listen one more time how I could improve my __teaching methods, I will scream. _'Come in! Jensen, what can I do for you.' Santana cocked her head curious as to what he wanted. For the last week her group of misfits had been very well behaved. No trouble whatsoever. Not that she was deluding herself that it would stay like that. But it had been nice.

'Sergeant.' Jensen shuffled in nervously. He wasn't sure whether he was really all that welcome in his Sergeants office, but her was getting nervous and thought that maybe she would agree to let him go running with her like she had offered. She had told them she would give them tips. Maybe she would let him ask her a few questions too. 'Permission to speak freely?'

Santana threw her pen on her desk and sat back. It was fascinating how incredibly uncomfortable Jensen looked. _This should be interesting. _'Speak your mind Jensen.'

First of I wanted to apologize to you for that prank last week. I realize it was really stupid and I don't know what I was thinking.' Jensen breather out, apology done. Santana gave him a small nod. 'And the other thing...well we have that big training exercise this Friday and Saturday and well...I was wondering if your offer to run with you was still open?'

Santana lips curved into a small smirk. _Well, well I didn't think he would be one of the nervous ones. Nerves are good they keep you sharp. _'It's still open, you are more than welcome to join. Polter already has.'

Relief flooded Jensen and he managed his own grin. 'Thank you Sergeant.'

'Jensen before you leave who are the unofficial group leaders for my two units?' Santana had to form two small units that would work together in the exercise and she knew that although it was up to her to pick the leaders, that her soldiers had already picked for themselves. 'Oh don't look at me like that, I know exactly how you guys think.'

'Oh well Polter for my group, cause that guy is just seriously good at all this. And...well Saber for the others.' Jensen looked at his feet, he thought that was a terrible idea. But what Saber wanted Saber got.

Santana winced, Saber was to brash and over confident and would more than likely get his group caught within hours. Polter however she agreed with. He was still way to quiet, but her had the most knowledge out of all of them. He would grow into the role. 'That is unfortunate.'

Jensen bit his lip, he didn't want to overstep, but he had experience with people like Saber. Sometimes you just had to let them shoot themselves in the foot. 'Sergeant can I make a suggestion?'

Santana was starting to really enjoy her conversation with Jensen. For all his joking and kidding he seemed to have a good handle on things. And he wasn't scared to speak his mind, but kept it respectful. _I think I like him. _'Why not, go ahead. I'm curious now anyway.'

'My dad used to say that with some people you had to give them enough rope to hang themselves real good before they would start listening to you.' Jensen commented carefully. Now what Santana did with that information was really up to her.

Santana snorted amusedly at Jensen. She had been thinking along the same lines. If she changed things up Saber would simply be pissed and more than likely still fuck it up. If she didn't interfere he would well and truly shoot himself in the foot. Then maybe he would start listening to her. 'Your dad was a clever man Jensen. Now if that was all, I need to finish up here.'

'No that's it Sergeant, thank you.' Jensen saluted quickly then left. He felt decidedly better about everything. _Now back to cleaning. Ugh I wonder how long we are going to be punished. I don't think I can take many more glares from everyone._

* * *

'Are you even listening to me there Quinn?' Kerry waved her hand in front of Quinn to try and get some reaction from her partner. Who had been even more quiet than usual. She grunted in satisfaction when Quinn jerked towards here.

'Fuck, what?' Quinn snapped, she had been going over her conversation with Santana. Over and over and over. And for the live of her she couldn't decide whether it had been a good thing or not. It had been so easy to tease Santana, and Santana seemed pretty amused by it. But she knew that Santana wasn't going to let it go. She had changed, but not that much. And Quinn just wasn't ready to explain Brittany and her to Santana. _I wouldn't even know how to explain me and her now to Santana. It is not my place._

'Hey don't you go biting my head off. You've been of in la la land the whole day. What the hell is going on?' Kerry asked somewhat snappy. Quinn had been more or less useless to her all day. And the case they were working was huge. She needed Quinn focussed and present. So if that meant figuratively smacking her upside the head, well she was all for it. 'And don't you dare tell me nothing! I know you better than that.'

Quinn groaned and rubbed her temples, she knew she was over thinking things. As if that was news to her, she tended to do that a lot. _You are scared of nothing. _'I had coffee with Santana.'

'Ok?' Kerry waited for Quinn to go one then started cursing in her head. How the hell Quinn got anything done was beyond her. The woman lived in her bloody head. All the time. 'I am gonne shoot you, I swear! If you don't start talking like right now!'

Quinn blinked then simply nodded slowly. Kerry didn't loose her cool often, but every now and then she would. She had never really lost her patients wit Quinn, so it made an impression. 'I don't know how to tell Santana about me and Brittany.'

Kerry blinked then smirked. She knew it. _They are totally together. _'Not that I am not thrilled at finally getting confirmation about you and other blondie. Nice catch by the way. Although you two together are just ridiculously blond! But what I don't get is why would Santana care about who you are knocking boots with?'

Quinn wanted to smack herself. She had managed to keep her private life and her work life nearly completely separate, and now she was up and telling Kerry way more than she ever wanted her to know. But she knew she had opened that door. The second she brought Santana up she had opened the door. _To late now. _'Dated, past tense.'

'You live with her Quinn, that ain't past tense.' Kerry said simply, then motioned for Quinn to go on.

'Look there is a lot you are not aware of. And frankly it's not my place to tell.' Quinn's jaw tensed a second. 'As for what Brit and Santana have to do with all this? I guess for you to really understand I better tell you a little bit of my past. Brit, Santana and me all started High School on the cheerleading squad. We were the typical stereotype though. Date a jock make peoples lives hell. You know the usual. But things changed. For one I got pregnant, with a boy that was not my boyfriend. Got kicked out. Santana got angry as she started to realise that she was gay. Didn't help that that School was a homophobic hell hole. So while I pulled into myself Santana took her displeasure out on the general public. The only person who could reach us both was Brit. God the woman has the patients of an angel.'

Kerry knew her eyes were all but popping out of her head. _Well jesus, nothing for nearly to years and now. She has a kid? How the hell do I not know that? _She watched as Quinn got completely lost in the past. The look Quinn wore was hard to decipher. There were so many conflicting emotions flitting across her face.

Quinn blinked bringing herself back to the present. 'Anyway Santana and Brit started, well for a lack of a better word, screwing around with each other eventually dating in secret. A few months after though they decided that they would make better friends than lovers. And Santana was just to scared to come out. But to anyone observing it looked like they were dating, it was a huge open secret and they had always been very handsy with each other. Not scared to show affection at all. Then Santana and Brittany got outed, by my stupid ass ex boyfriend, to the whole fucking state. While Brit's parents were ok with it Santana's were most definitely not. Her life went to hell, and I just...melted into the background because I was scared. And then she was gone. I came out to my mom, who had taken me back in. And then things just got horrible for Brit. Rumours started going around as to why Santana was gone and then nastier things about her and Santana, I'm pretty sure you can fill in the blanks there. You see Santana always protected Brit from everyone, because Brit never thought bad of people and was, well she was just special and unique not always the best thing to be in High School. As soon as she left people started bullying her. That's when I started stepping up. I tried my best, but I didn't have the reputation that Santana had, and by then I wasn't a cheerleader any more, I was just the stupid girl that got pregnant at sixteen, and we just both became targets. It just got worse when I got into a car crash and was in a wheelchair for basically the last half year of senior year.' Quinn stopped again internally wincing, yea she was pretty much spilling everything. Cliff note version of course.

Kerry decided she really didn't know shit about Quinn. Cause she had no idea of any of this. _A kid, a crash that left her temporarily paralysed? She was kicked out of her home and then taken back? Well wow. _'You have some game face there Fabray.'

Quinn actually managed to chuckle at that. _Exactly what Santana said. _'Lots of practise.' She dryly commented. 'Things with Brittany just happened. One night about two months before graduation we were watching a movie when Brit suddenly turned of the movie and plopped onto my lap and looked at me pouting. And let me tell you that pout is killer. She asked me whether she was going to have to ask me out to. And informed me that it wasn't fair that she was always the one to have to ask the girls out.' Quinn smiled at the memory of Brittany on her lap with that complete sombre and serious expression of hers. It was one of her favourites. 'After assuring her that no she didn't have to ask me out. I made sure to make a big spectacle of asking her out. You know flowers candy and dance and singing. The whole nine yards. Things with me and Brit were always so easy. Effortless really, that I guess hasn't changed. We dated for nearly four years.'

Kerry nodded she didn't get how this pertained to Santana. 'Look it sounds like one huge mess. But why would would you not tell Santana? I can not imagine that she expected either you or Brittany to not move on.'

'It's not that, I just...I don't want to hurt her. Before she disappeared it was so obvious she was still in love with Brit.' Quinn frowned that was the crux. She didn't want to hurt Santana or Brittany or herself for that matter.

Kerry sat back and mulled things over. There was so obvious so much more to the story. But what she heard was enough to get a good idea what was going on. Quinn blamed herself to some extent about what happened. She was also a fixer. She wanted to fix everything so she wouldn't hurt the people she loved. 'Quinn don't take this wrong, but there is no way you will be able to get through ten years of history with Santana without getting your feelings hurt a little here and there hurting and vice versa. But not telling the truth just sets you up to make it worse. You both loved the same girl, and you both dated her. It is what it is. She's smart so I'm sure she'll understand. And I think when she sees just how much Brittany means to you she'll be happy that she found someone that takes such good care of her.' Kerry looked at Quinn to let her words sink in a little. 'Now can we get to work or what?'

Quinn snorted, that all sounded so easy. It was also true, but this was so complicated. _Later Quinn, __now focus. _'Lets get to it then.'

'Finnaly! Oh and Quinn?' Kerry grinned when Quinn turned around. 'I am so gonna buy that girl of yours, that is apparently not yours, a few toaster ovens.' She started laughing when Quinn flipped her off.

* * *

Santana grinned at Millie when she opened the door, this was her favourite time of the day. 'Hey Millie.'

'Well you look happy sweetie, good day?' Millie asked as she let Santana in who of course made a straight line to Alejandra.

Santana picked Alejandra up and peppered her face with butterfly kisses. 'Hey baby girl, did you miss me?' She turned to Millie who was casually leaning against the door frame. 'I did actually have a pretty good day. How was my girl, give you any trouble?'

'Oh she was her cranky self. But I wouldn't want it any other way. She is going to a hand full and then some.' Millie snickered when Santana groaned. 'Paybacks and all that huh?'

Santana nodded emphatically. 'You have no idea, I was a nightmare growing up.' She poked Aljejandra lightly in the stomach making the little girl giggle. 'But you won't give your old mama that much trouble, will you? No, no you won't cause you are mama's little angel.' She kissed Alejandra softly sighing happily completely content.

Millie chuckled, she loved watching Santana with Alejandra. The both were both the happiest when they were around each other there was no denying it. And Santana for all her bluff and bravado was a sweetheart it was so obvious. 'You had another coffee date today didn't you?'

'Yes, and I am glad to announce we had a semi not awkward time.' Santana grinned she really had once again enjoyed talking to Quinn. Even though they had gotten into slightly more serious topics. It was inevitable. 'That girl totally played me though, such a little sneak.' She made faces at Alejandra as she spoke.

'Oh?' Millie didn't push she knew that Santana would talk eventually.

Santana laughed as she quickly summed up Quinn's stunt. 'See I had no idea, but now looking back some things sure make a heck of a lot more sense.' Santana chortled as she thought back to all the time she and Quinn had spent inspecting the Cheerios for wardrobe malfunctions. _Oh my god we were such little creepers, and we didn't even know it. Wardrobe malfunctions? Really?_

'That is usually how childhood works. When you look back you understand perfectly why you did things that at the time made little to no sense.' Millie slowly pulled Alejandra's things together.

'Yes, that is true. And truly at the time I was so involved with my own issues she could have walked into that school wearing a huge I am gay sign and I would have not gotten it.' Santana sighed, no use feeling bad about that now. It was long over and done with. And if she looked at both her and Quinn's life, they had done pretty well for selves. 'Anyway. Things still good for this Friday and Saturday?'

Millie chuckled, the person that wasn't ok with the arrangements was Santana. It would be the first time Santana would be away from Alejandra that long and she was obviously very nervous about it and not thrilled about the idea at all. 'Hon everything is set. Dre and me are going to have a ball of a time.'

'Right, thanks again, I know you don't usually take over nights, but frankly I don't trust anyone else with Dre.' Santana but her lip hard. The closer the exercise got the more apprehensive she grew. _You knew it would happen. Get a grip._

'Sweetie I know you are apprehensive, but I promise I'll take good care of her. And If you hadn't noticed I have adopted you. So none of this thank you for giving up your precious time.' Millie opened Alejandra's stroller then snatched her from Santana arms. 'Have you told your friend about this little bundle of energy?'

'No, I am just not sure how too. Am I supposed to just blurt it out?' Santana grunted unhappily, she was on the fence. She wanted to tell Quinn and she didn't. And that made no sense to her.

'When the moment is right sugar.' Millie clucked at Alejandra when she tried t grab her necklace carefully prising little fingers from it.

'That's a new one. I don't think I have ever had so many nicknames before. Well not positive ones at least.' Santana's lips quirked remembering Sue Sylvester and her insanity. _I wonder if she's still there?_

'Well when you stop being a sweetheart I'll stop calling you them.' Millie hung Alejandra's bag over Santana's shoulder then started pushing Santana towards the door.

Santana laughed, but let Millie push her to the door. 'You have a date or something Millie?'

'If you must know nosey nellie, I do.' Millie folded her arms daring Santana to say something.

Santana simply snickered. 'Well I wish you and your gentleman caller much success.'

'Get out of here you little brat!' Millie laughed as Santana took hold of the stroller. 'Bey hon.'

'Stay safe Millie.' Santana waved over her shoulder then walked to her apartment. Going over her day in her head. _Not bad at all. Ok could do without some of the memories. But not all of them were bad that counts for something. And Quinn? She was actually funny, and she got me good._

* * *

'Brit!' Quinn rushed to her room as she and grabbed a set of fresh clothes. She didn't have more than a couple hours to get shower and some fresh clothes and something to eat before she had to get back. The case they had gotten earlier was much bigger than anticipated and they had a ticking clock. Which meant all hands on deck. _Don't you just love your job now?_

'I'm in the study.' Brittany answered loudly to make sure that Quinn heard her. She was going over all the information she had managed gather. And there was there nothing she hadn't known before.

Quinn stopped in tracks, Brittany had a study? She backtracked and walked towards where Brittany's voice had come from. 'I thought this was a pantry.' She muttered when she walked in. _I've lived here nearly a year and I didn't notice this? Wow what a detective!_

Brittany snorted then lent back. 'I don't use it very often.' At Quinn's arched eyebrow she shrugged. 'Ok so I never use it, it wasn't my idea. Hey what are you doing home so early?'

Quinn groaned as she sat down on the arm of Brittany's chair. 'Big case. Captain sent me and Kerry home for some food and clean clothes. I will probably be gone most of the week.' Brittany simply nodded, it wasn't the first time. Quinn knew that Brittany would probably show up at some point with fresh clothes for her and some food for everyone. It was such a Brittany thing and she had done it countless other times. 'What is all this.' Quinn lent closer and scanned all the papers messily spread over the desk and felt her heart clench. 'Oh Brit baby.'

Brittany let Quinn cup her face gently. 'Every time I think I am finally starting to get better...' She felt tears run down her cheeks. She wondered if she would ever stop crying.

Quinn lent down and kissed Brittany softly. 'I know it hurts B, god I can see it every day. I wish I could make it all go away. You know I would if I could' She gently used her thumbs to wipe the tears from Brittany's cheek.

Brittany started really crying at the sweet gesture and flung herself at Quinn burrowing into her. Face pressed hard into the cook of Quinn's neck. He whole body was shaking hard. She was sobbing so hard. 'I ju..just d..don't understand.'

Quinn gripped Brittany tight to her wishing she could do something more. 'I've got you, let it out baby let it out.' Quinn felt her own tears run down her face.

Brittany wasn't sure how long the stayed like that but Quinn's shirt was completely wet from her crying and she was shivering a little, but never let go. 'I'm sorry, so sorry.' She whimpered she felt like a heel.

Quinn hummed softly rocking Brittany. 'It's ok ,come on lets get you to bed.' Quinn helped Brittany to her feet and led her to her room. She knew that Brittany wouldn't be able to face her own right now. She barely ever could. She would end up either with Quinn or on the couch. And when she did go into her bedroom she would cry herself to sleep. 'Come on get in beautiful.' Quinn cooed softly and tucked Brittany in.

'Can you stay till I fall asleep?' Brittany asked as she burrowed deeper into the covers, everything smelled like Quinn and it calmed her down. She wasn't surprised when she felt a soft kiss on her forehead. This happened more often than she cared to admit.

'Course.' Quinn whispered placing another kiss on Brittany's forehead before she sat back and hummed a lullaby. She didn't get up until she was sure Brittany was out. And even then she wished she didn't have to go.

* * *

Santana bit her lip, she had once again woken up sweat drenched, at least she hadn't been screaming. She scrubbed her face. 'Jesus.' She got up and stripped and put on another pair of boxers and tank then checked on Alejandra. Luckily she was still sleeping. According her watch it would be a while before she woke up again. She grabbed her phone and opened it and before she could really think about it wrote Quinn a text.

_Up for a random chat? San_

_Sure you can start with why the hell you are awake at this time of night. Quinn_

_I would guess the same reason you couldn't sleep on Saturday. San_

_Touché. Anything I can do? Quinn_

_You working? San_

_Yea, big case, fucking headache. Quinn_

_Sorry to hear that. San_

_Fuck I have to go. I'll call as soon as I can, but it might be a while, sorry. Try and get some sleep _

_No worries. I will. Stay safe Quinn. San_

Santana lay back in bed, she could admit it to herself texting made her feel like teenager again. Or maybe it was Quinn and all the memories talking to her brought up. They had sometimes spent hours texting when they were still at school. Truth be told some of the best conversations they had was via text. _Because we had to actually think before we spoke._


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone. Can I just say you guys were great. THanks you for the support and the reviews it means a lot. Now I have another chapter ready for you, and I really hope you like. Enjoy! **

* * *

Santana groaned as she rubbed her arm. She couldn't believe what a complete disaster the training exercise had turned into. One would think that the person or persons responsible for this would have remembered this was for Combat Medics and have organized accordingly. But no, no they didn't. When they had gotten to the grounds they soon realized that they had no patients. And in Santana's mind she just could not understand how the hell they could forget to organize patients. So in moment of not wanting to disappoint her own group of misfits and the other Privates who had all been so excited to get out there and really do their thing Santana jumped in and started organizing things herself while the rest stood around discussing what they could possibly do to rectify the situation. _I am such a sucker sometimes! I really should stop that. _And what did she get for her trouble? She was spattered with fake blood from the multitude of injuries she had faked through out the past 24 hours and her arms were stinging from all the infusions and she was tired. On top of that she missed Alejandra so damn much it hurt. The previous morning had been utter hell having to leave Alejandra with Millie knowing she wouldn't see her for more than a day nearly broke her heart. If Millie hadn't firmly pushed her out the door she didn't think she would have made it. And the only thing she really wanted to do was flip all these assholes off and run to Alejandra for some much needed cuddle time. Sometimes life just really sucked.

'Lopez!'

'Yes sir!' Santana snapped into a more acceptable pose as her base commander, Commander Finch, walked up to her. She had no idea that he was even still there. He had disappeared pretty soon after the exercise finally started. _Maybe you just lost sight of him, you were pretty busy._

'Just wanted to let you know I'm calling it. Without proper preparation we can't do much more here.' Finch eyed Santana he had been very impressed, he had been on the verge to scrap the whole thing when he had noticed her. She had taken charge effortlessly. Hadn't wasted time talking about a solution, she found one and then went out and implemented it. 'You did a great job.'

Santana nodded taking the praise for what it was. A thank you. 'I'll get everyone to start packing up then Sir.'

'No, you did enough.' Finch shook his head. He had kept an eye on Santana and knew that she had been on her feet the whole night. Hardly taking a break to eat and drink. 'Go, I'm sure you are anxious to get to your daughter, I know I was the first time we left our daughter for more than a few hours. And maybe wipe your face, it seems they got you good.' He grinned as Santana hastily tried to wipe away the half dried fake blood from her face.

'I could say the same Sir.' Santana said dryly. She now understood why she hadn't seen much of her superior, he had seemingly offered himself up as a patient as well. _Sign of a good CO when he get out there with his soldiers._

Finch looked down at his own spattered uniform and chuckled. 'Well I couldn't let you have al the fun, now could I? And truth be told I haven't had this much fun in a long time. But seriously Lopez get out of here before I change my mind. Oh and Monday come see me. I want to discuss the next training exercise with you.'

'Yes Sir. Have a nice weekend Sir.' Santana snapped to attention and saluted smartly before hurrying away to find a driver to take her back into the city and her baby girl.

* * *

Brittany looked up at the building and smiled, she could feel the energy of the building. If she was going to do this. If she was actually going to open another studio this was the building that she would use. It was a weathered old factory. Beautiful really, with huge arched windows and big lofty rooms perfect for dance floors. It was old but steady and steadfast. It needed some work to get it to be whole, but then that would be perfect, since Brittany felt like she herself needed the exact same thing. Paul had done his homework though. The location was perfect, and if she did this she already had people lined up for classes. Apparently her name was a big ticket, even if she had been working more behind the scenes for the last year. _Yea I think I need this. It's something new. New starts are what I need. _'Can you hold it for me until Monday?' She turned to the real estate agent who seemed to smell a sale in his future, since he was nodding eagerly.

'Of course, but not longer I am afraid. We have some other parties interested.' He said airily not looking Brittany in the eyes.

Brittany snorted internally. _Such a liar, I bet he is thrilled I'm interested. This place will need a lot of TLC. And most people don't want to spend it on a building like this. Old man needs some work. _'Of course it is a gorgeous building.' She said off handedly as she wandered into the stairwell. In her mind she could already see exactly what she wanted. There was just one last thing she needed to do, before she made her final decision. 'I promise by Monday afternoon you'll have my offer.'

'Wonderful, would you like to look around a little more?' He offered Brittany a set of keys so she could move around unencumbered.

'Thank you, give me half and hour and I'll meet you at the entrance.' Brittany turned around effectively dismissing the man. She didn't very much enjoy his obvious attentions. He had been flirting with her the whole morning. _Totally unprofessional, to drool on potential clients if you ask me._

The man sputters, but his desire to sell the place wins out and he leaves Brittany alone. 'I'll be right outside Ms Pierce.'

Brittany ignored him as she dug out her ipod and stuck the ear buds in her ears. She closed her eyes and let the music take over. She just stands there for the longest time, then finally started to move. Fluid, effortless and utterly gut wrenchingly beautiful, matching her mood and the music perfectly. When the music changed she finally opened her eyes and noded to herself. It was perfect, she could just feel it. She could see every detail in her head. And she wanted it. This was going to be hers, and she felt excited. _Time to get up and dust yourself of Brittany. Paul was right, it's the perfect time. Quinn is going to be thrilled. _Brittany's lip curled into a grin. She had things to do.

* * *

Santana looked up at the station house for the tenth time and groaned. She had no idea what had possessed her. She had called Millie as soon as she had gotten back to the city. Unfortunately Millie had decided to visit her sister and to show of Santana's perfect little girl, and wouldn't be able to get back to the city for at least an hour. And that left Santana on her own and she knew if she went home she would more than likely fall asleep since she was completely exhausted. So on a whim she had gotten out Quinn's card and made her way to Quinn's work. She had noticed that it was getting to be a habit when it came to Quinn, doing things on a whim that is. They had texted throughout the week and Santana knew that Quinn had been stuck there the whole time. So there she stood with a bag full of sandwiches and coffees. _You are already here so you might as well. _Santana chuckled to herself, as she finally made her way inside. If she were going to be honest with herself she was just curious to see Quinn in action. 'This is going to be interesting.' It didn't take Santana long to find Quinn's squad room, it looked like nothing special just another police station. And yet oddly fascinating to her as she tried to guess which desk belonged to Quinn.

'Can I help you...Sergeant?

Santana blinked, she had been so studiously studying the different desks she had completely missed the woman in front of her. 'Oh sorry.' Santana put down the tray of coffees and held out her hand. 'Hi I'm Santana Lopez, I'm actually looking for Detective Fabray?'

'She's busy right now, but maybe I can help. I'm Captain Olivia Benson nice to meet you.' Olivia eyed the woman in front of her curiously. 'Been to war there soldier?' She decided the easiest way to put the woman at ease is a little humour.

Santana looked down at herself and blushed. _I really should have changed. What a way to make a first impression. _'Oh god I'm so sorry. I didn't think to change I just had some time and thought maybe Quinn and the rest of her squad could use some food and coffee.'

Olivia bit her lip, Santana looked so oddly familiar to her. She couldn't quite place her though. 'Well if you come bearing gifts and none of that is yours or someone else's you are all good.'

'Oh no, definitely not mine.' Santana handed over one of the coffees. 'Cream and sugar are in the bag. And most of this is fake blood. I had the pleasure of playing the blown up soldier, the shot, the stabbed and so forth. This is the unfortunate result.'

'Oh god that tastes good.' Olivia sipped as she superstitiously observed Santana take in the room. 'So how do you know my detective?'

Santana grabbed her frapacino and eyed Olivia right back. 'We grew up together, I've just recently moved here and gotten back into contact with her.'

Olivia snapped her finger and she walked to Quinn's desk and grabbed a photo off of it. 'I knew I had seen you before.' She hands the picture to Santana. 'You were cheerleaders together. You Quinn and Brittany.'

Santana took the picture her finger felt completely nerveless. At the sight of the three of them her throat caught, they were so young and looked so happy in those ridiculously short skirts. She gently traces her finger across the glass taking a moment to just remember the good times they had.'That was a long time ago.'

Olivia cocked her head, Santana had the an unreadable expression on her face. And it intrigued her. 'From the look of things you remained pretty close?'

'Jesus Santana? What the hell happened to you?' Quinn stopped in her tracks. This was the last thing she had expected today. Actually any day, Santana showing up at her work.

Santana turned around and arched an eyebrow a smile curling her lips, making the amusement she felt quite obvious. 'Hello Quinn, nice to see you again. And yes I am just fine and you?'

Quinn's lips quirked into a grin, so there was still some of the cocky Santana she knew in there after all. 'Hi Santana, I'm doing great. Now seeing as we already covered that you are doing fine, what the hell happened to you?'

Santana rolled her eyes, but grinned none the less. It was nice having someone that worried about you. 'What you don't like battle fatigued and grimy?'

Quinn chuckled the first time in what felt forever. 'You're hot Lopez, but even you can't pull of that look.' Quinn motioned her hand up and down Santana's body. _Liar, liar pants on fire Quinn!_

'Oh whatever Fabray, have you looked in the mirror lately?' Santana snarked back teasingly. It was surprising how easy it was to slip back into their old ways with Quinn. She knew that they were both putting on a bit of a show for Quinn's co-workers. It was after all none of their business what was really between them.

'Touché.' Quinn knew that her clothes were rumpled and probably looked like she had slept in them. Which of course she had.

'Wait, this is the Santana Lopez?' Kerry grinned at Santana who shifted a little uncomfortably.

'Quinn what have you been telling all these nice people about me?' Santana looked directly at Kerry who seemed to be very aware of who she was. _I wonder just how much she knows? _

'Only good things.' Quinn muttered, she really was curious why Santana was there she looked utterly exhausted. 'Santana I would like you to meet Linda Kerry my partner and you seemingly met my Captain already. Kerry this is Santana.' Quinn threw Kerry a warning look, that clearly said behave or else.

'Nice to meet you Santana.' Kerry shook Santana's hand and gave her the once over. She was gorgeous and somehow the scarring on her face made her even more so.

'Likewise, do you prefer Kerry or Linda?' Santana smiled charmingly she wanted to make a good impression, and polite was her forte. Had been drilled into her. It was effortless. She hoped it would have the desired effect.

'Kerry is just fine, I sometimes forget my first name working with these idiots all day.' Kerry pointed at Quinn who glared at her.

Olivia held out the tray of coffees Santana had brought with her. It was time to break up Kerry and Quinn. Those two usually bickered back and forth all the time. They were the odd couple. They had very little in common, but they worked ridiculously well together. It always amazed Olivia. 'Ok you two, don't go scaring of the lovely Ms Lopez. Look she brought presents.'

'Oh I love your friends Quinn, seriously I love'm! They always bring us food and coffee. Although they are scarily gorgeous. Don't you have any ugly friends? I think I'm starting to get a complex here.' Kerry gushed as she fixed her coffee and started rummaging through the other bag holding the food.

Quinn blanched, she really didn't know what to do with Kerry. Sometimes the woman had no filter. 'Just ignore her, that's what I do.' She picked up one of the cups and started fixing a cup for herself. 'Thank you for this it was very sweet of you. Although I am curious why you are here, you look about ready to drop.'

Santana shrugged. 'I am still too wired, and since I don't know anyone else here I thought I would come say hi before heading home.'

'Well lucky us.' Kerry butted in as she sipped and sighed into her coffee. 'You have the coolest friends. I can't even get mine to have coffee with me and yours bring it here. Lucky.' She reiterated her point from before.

Santana snickered as she watched Quinn shift around, keeping a very close eye on Kerry. She wondered why though. _Oh boy is this the girl she was knocking boots with over the weekend? Oh god please say it ain't so. No, no this is Quinn she wouldn't. She's to...Quinn. _

'You know curiosity killed the cat Santana.' Quinn said softly so only Santana could hear. Letting her know that she knew at least partly why Santana was there.

Santana smirked then jumped a little. 'Damn, I forgot I had that thing on vibrate.' She grinned sheepishly as she dug out her phone from her pocket. 'Sorry I have to take this.' She stepped away to give the others to chat, not wanting to disturb them.

As soon as Santana was out of ear shot Kerry poked Quinn. 'She is a sweetheart, whatever your history she is a sweetheart now.'

'I am starting to see that...' Quinn turns quickly when they all heard a crash from the direction Santana had walked off too. _What the hell?_ Quinn watched as all the blood drained out of Santana's face and her whole body started shaking. To say she moved fast to get to Santana would have been an understatement. 'Santana?' She grabbed Santana by the arm and sighed gratefully when she saw Kerry grab the other it was obvious that Santana't legs were about to give in.

'Let's sit her down.' Kerry pulled a chair closer with her foot as they gently pushed Santana down in the chair. Kerry grabbed Santana's phone and handed it to Quinn. 'I think you should probably take that. I'll look after her.'

Quinn nodded as she grabbed the phone. She was desperately trying to figure out what had just happened. 'Hello...Hello...Yes sorry my friend nearly fainted, can I ask what this is about I don't think she's in any condition to tell me I'm afraid?...Oh...yes...no, I understand...We'll be there as soon as we can.' Quinn pulled the phone from her ear and stared down at it as if it would be able to give her clarification to what was going on. But it was cold to the touch and didn't give anything away.

'Fabray, everything ok?' Olivia asked as she handed Santana some water to sip, which Santana completely ignored. She was still shaking like a leave.

As much as Quinn wanted answers, and as many questions as she had, now was not the time. She had to reassure Santana first. Because she had to be scared. She knew if she were in Santana's situation she would be. She knelt down in front of Santana and took her hands in her own. 'Santana she's ok.' When Santana didn't react Quinn tipped her head up so the were looking each other in the eye. 'Hey look at me. She's ok, your little girl is ok. And I'm going to take you to the Hospital right now ok?'

Santana swallowed hard, the only thing she had heard when she had picked up that call were Alejandra, hurt and Hospital and her world felt like it was crumbling. Now there was Quinn holding her hand looking her in the eye telling her that she was ok. 'You sure?'

'Yes San she's ok.' Quinn sucked on her bottom lip a second, she had to ask. 'Is there someone I should call for you?'

Santana shook her head. 'No, it's just me and Dre. She's ok?'

Quinn smiled at Santana reassuringly. 'Yea Santana she is ok, I promise. I'll drive you to the Hospital, just give me a moment?' When Santana nodded Quinn got up.

Kerry held out her hand. 'Give me your keys I'll go get your car.'

Quinn nodded gratefully as she handed them over before turning to her boss. 'Cap I have to take her to St Anne's, her daughter was in an accident, I don't want to let her go on her own.'

'Do what you have to Fabray.' Olivia said as she watched Quinn interact with Santana. There seemed to be a lot of unspoken interactions. Some tentative like they were new and still forming and others completely out of habit. There was so much there, of that she was sure. 'But I need you back as soon as possible, that warrant is going to come through at any time now. An I need you to for the interrogation.'

Quinn nodded, they had a suspect and he seemed to have a bit of a thing for her. _Lucky me. _'I'm going to make sure they get home safe, after that I'll be back. Thank you Cap.' Quinn turned back to Santana and helped her up. She seemed to be a little less shaky. 'Come on Santana lets get you to your baby.'

* * *

Santana's heart clenched painfully as she gently stroked a crying Alejandra's back. As soon as she had gotten to the Hospital Santana had jumped out of Quinn's car and had taken off for the front desk where she had proceeded to throw a spectacular temper tantrum. Which was only curbed when Quinn had come in jogging and told her in no uncertain terms to shut up. She then sweet talked the nurses so they wouldn't call security on Santana. After that they finally showed Santana to Alejandra's room to wait for the doctor. 'Come on baby you have to stop crying sweetie. I'm here Dre. Please baby?' Santana wanted desperately to pick Alejandra up for both their sakes, but she had yet to speak to a doctor and was scared she would hurt Alejandra more if she did.

'Hello sorry to interrupt, I'm Dr Jullies.' Dr Jullies smiled understandingly at Santana as she walked into the room. 'I see she's calmed down somewhat, for such a tiny girl she sure has a very healthy set of lungs on her.' Dr Jullies eyed Santana and Alejandra, she could see the desperation to sooth her baby, but she was obviously scared. And why wouldn't she be she really didn't have a clue what had happened. 'You can pick her up, actually little tip from me she really needs to connect with you right now she's scared and wants her mommy, best way to do that is breastfeed her.'

Santana blinked then shrugged her jacket along with her shirt and bra. She didn't give a damn that she was half naked. If it would calm Alejandra down that's what she would do. 'She's ok?'

'She has a broken arm, and is still a little shocked. But otherwise perfectly fine.' Dr Jullies answered as she turned around letting Santana situate herself and Alejandra. It didn't take long for the crying to stop. She turned back around to Santana who had Alejandra carefully against her breast he shirt covering them somewhat. They both looked a lot calmer. 'We've put a temporary cast on her arm, since it's a bit swollen. In a couple of days you'll have to take her to your paediatrician and have them cast it properly. Also I am prescribing a mild anti inflammatory, just for the next few days. But you'll see kids bounce back from stuff like this in no time. It's usually the parents that take a little longer.'

Santana didn't take her eyes of Alejandra as she fed. She loved breastfeeding. She loved the closeness it gave her with Alejandra, and now it calmed both of them down. 'Do you know what happened?'

Dr Jullies nodded. 'It was an accident nothing more. Your friend was crossing the road when a bike courier came barrelling at them. He had tried to stop but his break cable snapped and he collided with your baby's stroller. At least he had managed to slow down a lot. He is actually the one that is badly injured, he broke his leg while trying to slow down.'

'Things like that actually happen.' Santana muttered, that sounded like something out of a movie to her. 'I thought you an me had an agreement baby, no giving your mama a heart attack until your at least thirty.' She whispered as she gently ran her fingers through Alejandra's soft baby hair.

Dr Jullies chuckled at the statement. 'I don't think she's going to keep to that one. You have a very energetic little one there. But I think it's time I get out of your hair. I'll have a nurse bring you the discharge papers.' She hesitated for a second at the door then turned back. 'Do you want me to send in your friend? She's been pacing outside your door for about half an hour now. She's a little intimidating, you know with the gun and all.' Dr Jullies tried to joke, but really it wasn't much of a joke. People tended to get a little jumpy around guns.

Santana groaned loudly, she had completely forgotten that Quinn was even there. She was a horrible friend. And after all Quinn had just done? _Way to go Santana, way to go. _'God I am such an idiot, I completely forgot she was here. Please tell her to come in. And thank you doctor.'

'Any time and will do.' Dr Jullies nodded then left the room.

A few moments later Santana saw Quinn hover at the door. She looked uncertain of herself. Like she couldn't decide whether it was really ok to go in or not. Santana sighed, this was not how she had wanted Quinn to find out about Alejandra. But now that Quinn knew she was relieved. And she really hoped that Quinn would be ok with her daughter. 'You can come in Quinn. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that before.'

'You don't have to explain. And I really don't want to intrude.' Quinn was trying her damnedest to look anywhere except at Santana's chest. _It's rude to stare Quinn._

Santana looked up and caught Quinn's eyes wandering around the room and snickered. And damn it felt good. 'Quinn for gods sakes they are just breasts I won't die of embarrassment if you look. Especially since both are pretty much covered.'

Quinn closed her eyes, she knew she was bright red. Why did Santana have this innate ability to get under her skin so easily. 'I hate you sometimes.' She muttered making Santana laugh. 'Sorry about that. I really just didn't want to intrude Santana, I know for a lot of mothers breastfeeding is very personal.'

Santana rolled her eyes, as odd as it sounded, Quinn being there was actually cheering her up. 'Quinn we already established that you are fine, I'm fine now just come in here. She's nearly done anyway. Then I promise I'll put them away. Until then you can...I don't know look out the window.'

'It's not funny.' Quinn scoffed as she closed the door behind her.

'I think it's hilarious.' Santana teased, then softened her gaze as she felt Alejandra stop feeding. 'You done baby girl? Yea I figured.' Santana bit her lip and looked at Quinn, it was sweet in a old fashioned kind of way how Qiunn was trying to do the gentlemanly thing. 'Quinn, can you just please look at me? I would really like to introduce you to someone.'

Quinn's head snapped to Santana. 'You don't have to Santana, I mean she must be upset.' Of course Quinn was lying she desperately wanted to meet the little girl Santana was holding to her chest so gently.

Santana smiled at Quinn, she could see Quinn's hands twitching. _You are still a very bad liar Quinn. _'I know I don't have to, just come here.' Santana got up and waited for Quinn to take the few steps to them. 'Quinn I would like you to meet Alejandra Jessica Lopez, my daughter. Dre this is Quinn.' Santana held Alejandra up so Quinn could get a better look at her.

'Santana she's gorgeous.' Qiunn bit her lip as she looked at the little girl who seemed to be studying her rather attentively. She looked so much like Santana. Skin was maybe a little lighter, but other that that? 'How old is she?'

'Four and a half months.' Santana grinned down at Alejandra, she was a little surprised. Alejandra usually screamed bloody murder when she met someone for the first time. Even for Millie who Alejandra loved. _Well well, look at that. I think they are both enamoured._

'She's tiny.' Quinn chuckled when Alejandra tried to grab at her. She held up her finger that Alejandra immediately latched on to. 'Tiny but strong huh, like your mama.'

'She likes you.' Santana said simply as she watched Quinn, she was completely taken by Alejandra a feeling Santana knew all to well. She wondered what Quinn was thinking, she couldn't imagine how hard it had to been for Quinn to give up her own daughter. She never understood, not completely, not until she held Alejandra for the first time. She could not imagine not having her in her life. 'Here.' Santana carefully placed Alejandra in Quinn's arms, without really giving Quinn a chance to say no.

'Santana!' Quinn yelped surprised to suddenly find herself holding Alejandra.

Santana chuckled and gave Quinn's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 'You're fine, and she really does seem to like you. Quinn, just enjoy it. There are few things as wonderful as snuggling with my little girl. Plus although I have nothing to be ashamed off, I don't intend to flash the whole Hospital.' Santana said as she started to put her bra back on. 'She usually screams at people when she first meets them.'

Quinn's face scrunched up in delight. For some reason that fact made her ridiculously happy. 'You just have impeccable taste, don't Alejandra?'

Santana sucked her bottom lip, she had to agree with Quinn, her little girl had very good taste. 'Thank you for bringing me, I think I would have probably gotten lost trying to use the public transport.'

'As if I would let you go anywhere in the state you were in.' Quinn shrugged the thanks off easily, because to her it really had never been any other option. 'She looks so much like you Santana, it's ridiculous.'

Santana grinned happily. Alejandra was her light, and anyone who paid her any kind of positive attention was ok in her books. That it was Quinn doing it made her feel even better. 'I think her eyes are going to be hazel though, the doctor said they were starting to take on their real colour. And they are already a lot lighter than mine.'

'Really?' Quinn grinned from ear to ear when Santana nodded. 'Well then little missy let me let you in on something, one hazel eyed beauty to another...chicks totally dig the eyes.'

Santana threw her head back laughing throatily. 'Hey Fabray don't you dare corrupt my sweet little angel. She doesn't need to hear things like that until she is thirty or older.'

Quinn burst out laughing as well. 'Oh like that's going to happen. She is after all a little Santana Lopez doppelgänger.' She gently pried Alejandra's fingers from her necklace, the girl had quite the grip and was tugging for all she was worth.

'You are just intent on bursting my bubble aren't you?' Santana shrugged her jacket on again then walked up to Quinn and helped her. 'She really likes showing off that grip, sorry.'

'No worries. You ready to get out of here?' Quinn handed Alejandra back to Santana who she could see was itching to get her back. She understood perfectly. Her girl was hurt and she wanted to protect her. It actually surprised that Santana had given her to her, since ALejandra didn't know her and she wasn't feeling well.

'You have no idea, this has turned into the longest day ever.' Santana nuzzled her nose against Alejandra's head, taking in her baby smell. It was arguably the best smell in the world.

* * *

'I still can't believe you got a car seat for her Quinn.' Santana grumbled as she nervously unlocked her apartment, she knew it was still a mess. She hadn't really had the time nor the inclination to unpack or get things for it. It was basically bare. And suddenly she felt a little ashamed about that. _You really have to start decorating, the place looks like terrible. And it's permanent Santana, no moving around for a while._

Quinn shrugged Santana off for the tenth time. 'Look her stroller was trashed and I was not going to let you take the train home. So I needed a car seat. And since you don't have a car I bought it for my car. So whenever you need a ride little Dre can come too.'

Santana sighed she knew there was no arguing on this with Quinn. She would not give, they had been going back and forth the whole way back. 'Fine. Now don't judge I haven't been here long. And it's been so long since I have had to decorate anything, I think I kinda forgot how it goes.' Santana tried to joke as she showed Quinn into her apartment. Another thing which she hadn't been able to talk Quinn out off, coming up with them. _Why can I suddenly not say no to the woman?_

Quinn cocked her head curious as to why Santana was suddenly shy. A second later she was pretty sure she knew why. Santana's apartment was pretty bare still she had couch, but that was pretty much it for the living room. 'Well Spartan is back in I'm told.' Quinn quipped lightly trying to put Santana at ease. 'But you me and mini you are going shopping next weekend.'

Santana motioned Quinn to the couch. 'You and me shopping it's been a long time. As I remember it we usually ended up insulting the living day lights out of each other.'

'True, but it was so much fun.' Quinn said dryly, their teenage years were not their best years. They were horrible to each other, and they both knew. But they always managed to stay friends. 'But I really would enjoy going with you Santana. See it as us getting away from Starbucks. Cause I know it has to be killing you not to be able to drink coffee.' Quinn said the last part slyly, she now understood the looks perfectly.

'Ah figured that out. I swear at times I want to stab people for drinking coffee in front of me. At least my little one mostly sleeps through the night now.' Santana twirled her fingers, it was so very tempting to take Quinn up on her offer. They were really getting along. She really enjoyed their time together. And now she knew about Alejandra. _What are you so afraid of?_

Quinn watched as Santana struggled with her thoughts. It was interesting to her how many emotions she could read in Santana now, and yet she still couldn't get a complete read. Santana would perhaps always remain somewhat of a mystery. 'How about you give me that baby, and go shower? You stink.'

Santana blinked then snorted loudly. 'Hello pot this is kettle. But fine, put the puppy dog eyes away.' Santana handed Alejandra to Quinn carefully. 'She's more or less asleep so she shouldn't fuss. Call me if she does though. I'll be quick.' Santana added a big thank you to Quinn for giving her some time to think about things. A few minutes to herself to figure things out. Her next move.

Quinn looked down at the little girl in her arms and grinned. 'You know your mama is pretty cool these days. We used to fight a lot, and I mean a lot. But now, I really like her.' Quinn played with Alejandra's fingers, but she could see that she wasn't far from completely asleep. _Is it possible to fall in love with someone at first sight?_ 'She's going to be so angry at me though. At least I think she might...maybe. Ok I don't know how she'll feel. See I panicked in the Hospital, I really don't do well in them, and I called my best friend. Who happened to be your mama's best friend in High School.

Usually Brit is really mellow and go with the flow, but as soon as I mentioned Hospital she went a little nuts. I think it's because she has had to come and get me from Hospital so many times.' Quinn bit her lip, she really hadn't meant to make things even more complicated. Santana was exhausted so was Alejandra. But Brit had been very adamant, and adamant Brit you didn't say no to. 'So you see she's on her way over. And I have to find a way to tell your mama before she gets here, or it's going to be really awkward.'

'What's going to be awkward?' Santana toweled her hair as she walked back into the living room.

'Jesus, Mary and Joseph you scared the hell out of me!' Quinn yelped as she felt her heart thump loudly in her throat.

Santana stopped in her track then snorted, that was new. 'You suddenly Catholic Quinn?'

'When you scare me like that, I just might turn into one.' Quinn grumbled checking to see whether she had scared Alejandra. It didn't look like it. Alejandra's eyes were steadily closing. 'I think Alejandra is just about ready to go down.'

Santana slung the towel over her shoulder. 'Yip, come on.' Santana picked Alejandra up and walked to the nursery with Quinn close on her heals. 'Now back to what you were talking about earlier. Why would things become awkward? I thought we finally got over a lot of that.'

Quinn fidgeted with her belt buckle as she watched Santana efficiently strip Alejandra. 'Oh yes, about that...'

Santana looked up as she threw Alejandra's diaper away and took in Quinn's nervous tick. She always seemed to fidget with her fingers or bite her lips. Her features becoming nearly shy. 'Well since this just became awkward anyway, you might as well tell me.'

Quinn looked at Santana and found nothing there, but simple curiousity. _You can't exactly avoid the topic Quinn, you know Brit is probably only minutes away and has probably broken about a dozen traffic laws. _Quinn sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. 'I have been in Hospitals my fair share, and I have to tell you I don't ever do well when I am. Brings up bad memories I would much rather forget.'

'So what you are saying is, I wasn't the only one freaking out. That's understandable Quinn can't fault you there. I'm not fond of them myself.' Santana kissed Alejadra's tummy playfully to ease the tension. It amazed her how good babies were at easing people's nervousness.

'Yes, and I have this really silly agreement that whenever I set foot in a Hospital and it isn't for work I have to call a friend of mine.' _An agreement me and Brit agreed on in High School and revised when I became a cop. And unfortunately we have had use more times than either of us likes. _'So I did, because she would kill me if I didn't, and now she is on her way here.' Quinn said the last part softly, and she just couldn't meet Santana's eyes. Now for the really big doozy.

'Quinn, I am flattered...I think? But I am really in no condition to entertain. I just want to go to bed, since I know you have to go soon.' Santana said softly trying to meet Quinn's eyes, but having little to no luck. 'The last thing I want to do right now is meet one of your friends. I am not up for strangers. Although it is kinda sweet if a little weird that she would be this worried and willing to go out of her way.'

Quinn bit her lip hard and took a deep breath. 'Well that's just it, she isn't a stranger Santana.'

And then it hit Santana square in the chest. Her hands stilled as realisation dawned on her. Quinn's boss had made the statement so offhandedly and she had been so enamoured by the picture that she had missed it then. _She didn't know me, only my face. But she knew Brittany by name. _'Brittany.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys. First off thank you all so much for the great support and reviews! They totally make my day. Now for the chapter, it has a quite a bit of Santana's history in this one. I hope you guys will like it. Anyway hope you enjoy! **

* * *

Quinn watched on worriedly as Santana quietly rocked Alejandra. She hadn't said a word after she said Brittany's name. But Quinn could read her emotions clear as day. Santana was hurting and was raw. She was pretty sure that if she didn't have Alejandra to take care of Santana would have been crying. _God why did I have to go and do that? I feel like I just broke her heart. _'I'm so sorry Santana. I never meant to hurt you.' Quinn whispered softly.

Santana bit lip hard. She checked and sure enough Alejandra was asleep, so she placed her in her crib. Grabbed the baby monitor then motioned for Quinn to follow her. Now that Alejandra was taken care of Santana didn't know what to do with herself. She wasn't ready, she wasn't ready to see the girl who had held her heart for years. The girl that got her through so much and didn't even know it. _It's not Quinn's fault, how could she have known that this would gut me? That I would need time to prepare. _'I'm not hurt Quinn, I should have realized you two would still be friends. I'm just...I was so shocked when I saw you. This is just...so much. This brings back so many things for me.' Santana looked up at Quinn her heart on her sleeve. 'I was so in love with her, so in love for weeks after I felt like I couldn't breath.' She whimpered softly, she didn't pull away when she felt Quinn pull her into her. 'I think there will always be a place in my heart that will only ever belong to her. It took me a long time to let go.'

Quinn closed her eyes as she held Santana tight. She should have known better. She knew from experience how hard it was to let Brittany go. _Oh gods I am so sorry. _'I shouldn't have called her.'

'No, don't you dare apologize. Quinn I am so so very grateful and happy that you and Brittany are still close. And that Brittany obviously loves you enough to make you call her when someone she knows is hurt. It's a wonderful thing Quinn, don't ever apologize for that. So many things happened. I will just always regret that Brittany and me never got to really see where we could have gone. Or ever got closure.' Santana pulled away from Quinn wiping away some tears. 'This is so very hard, but I think no matter how much time I got to prepare, it wouldn't have made it any easier.'

Quinn nodded, the whole situation was not making her guilt about not telling Santana the whole story worse. She wanted to tell her, but she didn't want to be the one to hurt Santana even more. In her opinion Santana had had more than enough hurt for a lifetime. 'She never stopped loving you either Santana. She has been driving me up the walls. She wanted to call you the second I told her I saw you.' Quinn didn't get anything else in it seemed Brittany was there. 'I'll get it.'

'Thanks, but you should just head out, I know your Captain needs you back.' Santana swallowed hard, it would be so easy to ask Quinn to stay. She obviously wanted to.

Quinn looked at Santana, she was right Quinn did have to get back. But she felt responsible for the situation Santana was in. And if Santana wanted her to stay she would. Consequences be damned. 'Are you sure?'

Santana smiled crookedly, this was a side of Quinn she hadn't ever really seen before. She was obviously worried. And although Brittany was her friend now, she was offering to be there for Santana to help out in any way she could. 'You are very sweet Quinn. But I think I need to do this on my own. Now go get your man and please stay safe.'

'If it's ok can I come by tomorrow? I would really like to get to know Alejandra and her mama better.' Quinn asked shyly, seeing Santana with her daughter was amazing. It also explained so much, and she might have the slightest crush on Santana daughter. She was so beautiful.

Santana beamed at Quinn. She had been so worried about Quinn's reaction to Alejandra, but it seemed that Quinn took to Aljandra like a duck to water. _My girl has her first girl! So my girl. _'I would actually really love that Quinn. You can come to the park with us, maybe show Dre's mama where the damn Zoo is?'

Quinn grinned, now that she could do. 'Sure, I'll even let you think you found it without my fantastic navigational skills.' She chuckled at Santana's slight scowl. At least Santana seemed to be a little more at ease. _Brit won't hurt her you know that. And they do both need to sort things out. Closure is a powerful thing. Something Brit needs desperately too._'Well I should go before Brit breaks down the door. See you soon San.'

'See you soon, and stay safe.' Santana reiterated and then watched Quinn walk off. She sighed as she waited. The whole day that had already bee so incredibly long was going to turn into an even longer day and all Santana really wanted to do was get under the covers and hide from the world for just a little while. _Running is what you have been doing for ten years. Get a grip and face your past, and maybe you'll get back what you lost._

* * *

Quinn opened the door then quickly stepped outside. 'Hey Brit, glad to see you made it in one piece.' She admonished Brittany lightly, she knew it would just roll off Brittany's back so she didn't put to much effort in. _She would hijack a plane if one of her friends needed her._

'And I didn't even hit any old ladies on my way here.' Brittany bit her lip then looked at her feet nervously. 'Is she ok?'

Quinn pulled Brittany in for quick hug and pecked her on the lips. 'She's tired and shook up, but ok. Brit be careful, for both your sakes.'

Brittany nodded she understood what Quinn was saying. She had baggage and it would be so easy to take out her frustration and anger and sorrow on Santana. 'I would never do that, and you know that. But I understand your concern Quinn. You are always protecting everyone, but you don't have to protect Santana from me.'

'I know, I know. I just...she is so different Brit.' Quinn gave Brittany a squeeze.

'And her daughter?' Brittany asked hesitantly. Her heart beating harder in her chest.

Quinn grinned. 'She's perfect. She looks just like Santana it's amazing.' Quinn knew she was gushing, but she couldn't help it. Alejandra had already stolen her heart and run off with it. She stopped talking though when she saw Brittany expression and wanted to kick herself. _Stupid, Stupid! How could you be so stupid! _'I...'

Brittany shook her head. 'No, don't Quinn.' She looked Quinn in the eye. And she didn't like what she was seeing there. It wasn't pity, no Quinn never pitied her. But she did look guilty. 'I am sure that she is beautiful. How could something that Santana made not be perfect.' She smiled sadly as she felt that shard that had taken up permanent residence in her heart twist just a little bit deeper. 'Now go, we'll be fine. I'll see you at home.'

Quinn nodded biting her lip, she felt like she should stay, but she knew she couldn't. 'Love you Brit.' Quinn gave Brittany's shoulder a last squeeze then took of leaving Brittany staring at the partially open door.

'The time is now.' Brittany mumbled then opened the door and walked into Santana's home. _I have __wanted this for years, so why am I suddenly terrified? _Brittany made it to the living room much faster than she would have liked then just froze. Santana was on the couch her head bowed and eyes closed. Obviously deep in thought as she rubbed her temples. Brittany didn't, couldn't move as her eyes raked over Santana taking in as much as she could. The conclusion she drew was not that surprising to her at all. Santana had grown into herself and was as beautiful as she ever had been. 'Hi.' She finally said softly.

Santana's head snapped up and then she just stared. It was definitely Brittany before her, but it wasn't the girl she had once loved so much. This was a grown woman. A stunning grown woman. 'Hi.'

Brittany bounced on the balls of her feet, she had been so focussed on getting to Santana that she had never thought about what she would actually say when she got there. She stared at her hands and then just started talking. 'I am so so angry with you right now. And at the same time I am so happy to see you.'

Santana got up slowly, she could see all the conflicting emotions she herself was feeling written clearly on Brittany's face. 'I know. And I wish I could take it away, but I can't.' Santana looked Brittany over and frowned. Brittany looked tired and worn and the twinkle that had once always been in her eyes was gone. And Santana wished she knew why.

Brittany nodded sadly, being a grown up sucked sometimes. And she missed being a teenager where her biggest worry had been should she wear her hair up or down. 'I need to understand what happened San, please you owe me at least that.'

Santana rubbed her temples again, she knew it was coming. With Quinn they were slowly building up to things. Getting bits and pieces out of the way. Breaking up their history into lumps, but this was Brittany. And she might have changed, but she was still Brittany. And she always wanted clarification and the complete story. It was just how she was. _You owe it to yourself as well. _She finally sighed. 'Then we better sit down. This might take a while.'

Brittany plopped onto the couch and waited. But it didn't seem like Santana was going to speak any time soon. 'Why is talking so hard?' Brittany asked rhetorically smiling slightly when Santana snorted.

'Because it means you actually have to deal with things.' Santana mumbled. 'I don't know how to do this Brit. I don't know where to start.'

Brittany lent her head back and stared at the ceiling noting that Santana really should get the place painted. Slowly she turned her head so she could see Santana. 'Well how about we start at the point where things started to going to shit?'

Santana blinked a couple times then smiled perplexed. 'You...' _Sounded exactly like Quinn. She used to say stuff like that all the time._

'What?' Brittany frowned at the look on Santana's face. She couldn't couldn't decipher it. 'Why you looking at me like that?'

'It's just you sounded so much like Quinn there.' Santana muttered then quickly looked away, she really didn't mean to be a creeper. The situation was hard enough as it was she didn't have to add creepy to the list.

'Oh, well I guess we picked up on each others habits over the years. And we do live together.' Brittany shrugged innocently completely missing the fact that she had just cob smacked Santana.

_I did not see that one coming. What does that even mean though? And Brittany is where Quinn picked up the weird calling for the sake of calling thing. Brittany used to do that all the time. Gods this is too weird. _Santana cleared her throat quietly, she had some more pieces to the puzzle that was Quinn, but for the life of her she had no clue what they meant and how they fit together. Or exactly what they even were. 'I guess you would.'

'Why did you break up with me Santana? We both know we were both still in love with each other.' Brittany broke the silence again. It felt familiar. All the years they spent growing up together, when things got serious Brittany always guided the conversations between them. It was a weird kind of comfort.

Santana stared at her hands for the longest time. She could see her younger self so clearly in her mind. She had always put on such an air of being tough and pretended so hard that nothing touched her. But the truth was that she had been terrified and was always desperately trying to please parents that didn't love her. No matter what she accomplished. 'I was scared stiff of what would happen if people found out. I wasn't lucky with my parents like you were. My parents were...'

'Psychotic assholes.' Brittany finished Santana's sentence for her when she couldn't find the right words. Brittany certainly didn't have that problem.

Santana shook her head and laughed. 'That's very apt actually. I was working on it Brittany, that I can tell you.'

'I thought you were, but then...'

'Finn happened.' Santana rubbed her face and sighed loudly. Now they were getting to it really. Her outing and what happened after. 'My parents got even more psychotic when they found out their good for nothing daughter wasn't only a huge disappointment and burden to them, but a gay one.' Santana knew she sounded bitter, but the truth was she had washed her hands of her parents, and yet it still hurt. 'They always made things very clear to any one who cared to listen. They hated just about everyone equally, that included me and everything I did. They raised me to be hateful and bitter and never expect anything more from others. And for a long time I did.'

Brittany knew she was crying softly, but she didn't bother wiping her eyes, she just knew there were more to come. She took Santana's hand in her own and squeezed it softly just to let her know she wasn't alone. She didn't have to say anything. _How can someone ever hate their own child, I will never understand that._

'They in essence put me under house arrest. I wasn't allowed to go out for anything not school related, and even those activities were very strictly monitored.' Santana held on to Brittany's hand tightly. It felt exactly like it used to. Safe. 'They threatened to send me to straight camp if I ever chose to act on my disease as they called it. And I was terrified they actually would. I checked them out and I had heard stories about them. They are horrible, and the things they do? Unconscionable. I couldn't end up in one of those Brit, I just couldn't.'

'So being outed didn't out you, it caged you even more.' Brittany whispered softly when Santana seemed to once again run out of steam. She had of course seen it happening, but at the time she didn't know why. She hadn't understood. _God she must have been tearing herself apart inside. _

'They never physically hurt me, they didn't have to. They had me hating myself completely it wouldn't have hurt me more than I was hurting myself. You were the one perfect thing I had.I was going to run away when I turned 18. I was planning on running to you, but I never got the chance.' Santana's jaw clenched painfully as she thought about what happened next. It was not something she liked to dwell upon. It would always hurt.

Brittany blinked. 'You were?' _I knew it! I knew she would never just leave without telling me._

'Yea, I knew that they would never let me go while I was still I was still a minor, appearances were everything after all, but I didn't think they would do what they did.' Santana got up and started pacing, she needed to order her thoughts a little. _Every time it kills me again. _'The night of my 18th Birthday my parents unceremoniously plucked me out of bed and dragged me into their car and started driving. I was in my pyjamas and didn't have time to even grab my wallet or phone. I had nothing, not even shoes. They drove for hours, I don't even know how many. And then they stopped in the middle of no where and told me to get out.' Santana wiped her eyes, she refused to cry over it. She had no tears to spare for anything her parents had done, or hadn't done. 'They abandoned me miles from anywhere. I walked for hours until I came into a small town. By that time it was night time again. I was in pain and exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything for more the 24 hours and my feet were bleeding.' Santana tried to smile reassuringly at Brittany, who looked devastated. _She is still so amazingly compassionate. _'On the outskirts of Hendrickson there's a diner...I tried to break in I was just so hungry and tired. But I suck at breaking and entering and I got caught by the Sheriff and the owner Rose. See I tried to break into the Sherrif's wife's diner.' Santana smiled at the memory, that day was then the worst day in her life but it was also her saving grace. 'I should have landed in jail for that, but Rose took one look at me and I guess her Italian mama gene kicked in. She had me sitting down and food in front of me before I knew what was happening. The Sheriff in the meantime cleaned up my feet and bandaged them. I felt so humiliated and ashamed, so utterly useless. But I knew I had to swallow my pride and take the help offered I would never have been able to survive otherwise.' Santana twirled her finger taking a second to just let things sink in. Then looked Brittany in the eye. 'They took me in. Sheriff Bradley Cooper helped me get into the High School there and I worked at the Diner to help out. They are good people, they don't have a lot, but they never hesitated to help me. Brad was an Army man before he retired and took up being Sheriff and over the few months I lived with them he talked about his army days all the time. At first I would roll my eyes but listen just to humour him. But as I got to really listening I just, I found what I wanted. A few weeks before I graduated High School I signed up, and a week after graduation I started boot camp. And since then I have been pretty much deployed. Never back state side for more than a few months at a time.'

Brittany furiously wiped her tears, it all made perfect sense. Finally she understood, it hurt to know that Santana had to go through all that. But she could see it only made Santana into this person. This incredibly strong, honest, kind and brave woman. 'You could have called.'

Santana knelt down in front of Brittany taking her hands in her own. She needed Brittany to really understand what she was going to say next. 'I wanted to, a million times. But I was so ashamed. How could I ever be enough for you when my own parents hated me, when I hated myself. I had to prove myself, and not to any one except myself.' Santana's heart clenched painfully at the hurt in Brittany's eyes, but she was being nothing but completely honest. 'I hated myself Brit, I hated myself so much that I don't know what would have happened if the Coopers hadn't found me. I knew if I called you I would run back to you, I would run back to Lima and I would have suffocated there. It would have slowly killed me.'

Brittany knew that Santana was probably right, but it killed her. And she didn't want it to be true. She had seen it, but never acknowledged it. Santana had been drowning in her self hate. But she couldn't. She got up and tried to push Santana away, but Santana wouldn't let go. So she pushed her, out of anger and sorrow and so much hurt. She kept on pushing until she couldn't stand up straight and fell into Santana. 'I needed you! I needed you so fucking much. You broke my heart, and were just gone! I needed you! You promised me that you would always be there. And when I needed you you were gone. I fucking needed you!' She choked into Santana's shoulder not sure whether she was trying to pull Santana closer or push her away.

Santana knew she was sobbing just as hard as Brittany as Brittany let all the pent up emotions out. She didn't fight her when Brittany shoved her and she didn't pull away when she pulled her to her so hard that she knew she would have bruises. She had done this, and she wished she could fix it. But she couldn't, the only thing she could do was just be there. 'I am so sorry. So sorry.' She whimpered when Brittany finally stopped struggling and held on to her just as tight as Brittany was holding on to her.

* * *

Quinn was a wreck she felt so utterly guilty and knew that she was putting bot her friends through an emotional upheaval. And neither was ready, but then again she didn't think they ever would be. 'Kerry we got everything?'

'Yip, signed sealed and about to be delivered. You did good in there.' Kerry plopped onto Quinn's desk and frowned. 'You weren't there though.'

'What do you mean, who the fuck else got that confession, I sure thought that was me.' Quinn snapped angrily, she might not have been completely focussed on things, but she knew she had done her job, and done it well. She wouldn't let anyone doubt that, not even Kerry.

Kerry folded her arms then simply cocked her eyebrow. 'Don't even start with me Quinn. You are fucking good at your job, and I just told you you did good. But I know you were not all there. Now you wanne talk about it or are you gonna bitch at me? Cause I am not down with that.'

Quinn closed her eyes then slowly breathed out slowly. _She's right, she didn't do anything wrong. _'Come on lets get out of here, Captain said we are good to go. You up for a walk?'

'Sure, if there is food involved.' Kerry said easily as she put on her jacket and followed Quinn out.

'I swear you would sell your mother for a free meal.' Quinn scoffed playfully then burst out laughing when Kerry just shrugged. 'I'm telling her that the next time I see her.'

Kerry shoved her lightly. 'You wouldn't dare, my mother would tan my hide!'

Quinn snorted then cocked her eyebrow and grinned evilly. 'Oh wouldn't I?'

'You suck.' Kerry muttered, she really never could tell with Quinn. She had the best poker face she had ever seen.

'So I have been told, apparently I am very good at it too.' Quinn waggled her eyebrows. She absolutely loved the look on Kerry's face when she caught on to Quinn's innuendo.

'Ewww.' Kerry scrunched her nose. 'I do not need that visual Quinn, really don't need that.'

'I thought you were so curious about my personal life.' Quinn said dryly. She knew Kerry was only trying to be a friend and a good partner, and Quinn really did appreciate it. And if she really wanted to be friends she would have to get to know the home Quinn.

'Not that curious.' Kerry laughed, this was another new side to Quinn. And she liked it. 'So you gonna tell me what's eating you?'

Quinn walked until she was sure they were alone. 'I called Brit when I was waiting for Santana, and she of course insisted on making sure for herself that Santana was ok.'

Kerry nodded then waited a second to see whether Quinn was going to continue, or whether this was going to be another interrogation style conversation. 'Ok, but what is the problem there? Don't you think giving them the opportunity to work out whatever there once was will help them both get closure and renew their friendship?'

'I know it will. It's just...you didn't see Santana.' Quinn bit her lip. 'She looked completely shattered. I did that, I shattered her.'

'Nope, no way. You did nothing wrong. And I bet you a hundred bucks Santana won't fault you either. The only thing you are guilty of is being a good friend. You have given her the opportunity to reconnect with someone that was obviously incredibly important to her. I didn't miss the way she looked at that photo yesterday Quinn. Trust me when I say she needs this. And maybe so does Brittany. Closure is a very powerful thing.' Kerry made sure that Quinn got what she was saying. She of course didn't know that she was echoing Quinn's own thoughts.

'I know, I know, I just hate that I couldn't stay and I don't know keep an eye on them, but had to run off.' Quinn kicked her toe into the dirt as she slowed down. They were nearly at Kerry's favourite Dlly, which meant people and end of conversation.

'I know, and that's because you are a good person Quinn. But I think some things are better said between four eyes. Let them use the opportunity to say what they have to say to each other. If they need you they'll let you know. And you know that.' Kerry squeezed Quinn's shoulder. 'Now damn it I'm hungry, feed me!'

Quinn shook her head that was Kelly for you. 'Just when I think you are growing up you do that. But still thanks, I needed to hear that.'

'You already knew it.' Kerry shrugged dragging Quinn with her. It had been a very long week. She wanted food then sex then bed. In that order. _I hope you took your Vitamins Adam cause I am gonna rock your world!_

* * *

Brittany had climbed out of Santana's window and sat on the fire escape and waited for Santana. Alejadra had started crying. So Brittany took the time to pull herself together. _God I am so fucked up._

'Penny for your thought.' Santana said softly as she climbed out and sat down next to Brittany.

Brittany turned to Santana and smiled. 'It's not worth a penny, but I'll share it any way.' Brittany lent against the railing and looked out down into the alley bellow as she gathered her thoughts. 'I'm sorry about shoving you. I shouldn't have done that.'

'You had every right Brittany. I don't blame you.' Santana watched Brittany closely as she looked at the ground bellow. There was so much hurt in Brittany's face, and she was pretty sure it wasn't all about her. _Oh god I wish I knew that was wrong. I really did fuck up things good._

'Then I'll just blame myself. This was not about me, this was about you. I asked you about what happened. And I am so proud of you. Don't doubt that, please.' Brittany turned back to Santana she needed to make things right. 'I missed you San, and I am so happy you are here now. And please, don't feel guilty. You did what you had to do.'

'I shouldn't have cut you out, I just...I thought I had lost everything you know. Now looking back I still had some very good things and people back in Lima. I mean I had you and your parents, who always treated me like I was family. And I had Quinn, although we both had our heads up our asses back then. And my Abuela, I should have thought things through better and gotten back in contact with you all.' Santana shook her head at her own train of thought. _Shoulda woulda coulda Santana, you can't change the things you did. You did what you thought was right. For better or worse it is done. Now you fix what was broken, not everyone gets a second chance. _'But as much as I want to, I can't change that. But if it means anything to you, I never stopped loving you Brit. You were always near. And I am here now. I know it's not the same, but I would really love to get my best friend back.'

Brittany nodded, that was what she wanted too. Santana had always known exactly what to say to calm her down. Funny she still did. 'Me too.'

'Good. And I hope one day you'll trust me enough to tell me what has you so heartbroken.' Santana whispered the last part and gave Brittany a soft smile. She wouldn't push. She never had with Brittany. Sooner or later Brittany had always told her what was wrong. She hoped that was still true.

Brittany wasn't even surprised that Santana could apparently still read her that well. She had always silently agreed when Quinn had teased them about sharing two halves of the same brain. 'I will, but I'm not ready yet.'

'Ok then.' Santana lent back and closed her eyes, she felt better. She felt lighter and she knew that she and Brittany would be ok. Eventually. She cocked her head then smiled softly. Alejandra was being very fussy, not that she blamed her. It hurt to break your arm. Plus she was more than likely hungry again as well. 'Brittany do you...do you want to meet my daughter?' Santana asked shyly, she really wanted to introduce them. It was important to her. _Should probably tell her I made her one of the Godmothers._

Brittany shot up panic hitting her like a ton of bricks. 'I can't.' She frantically climbed back into Santana room. 'I'm sorry.' She managed to choke out then took of like a shot. She wasn't ready, she just wasn't ready for that.

Santana tried to chase after Brittany, but it was useless by the time she reached the living room Brittany was already out the door and Alejandra was screaming for her. She immediately hurried to Alejandra and picked her up. 'It's ok Dre, I know it hurts. You hungry baby?' She asked softly as she shrugged of her shirt and settled on her bed stroking Alejandra's cheek. She wouldn't cry, not while she had Alejandra in her arms. But she knew she would. Santana could have taken anything Brittany dished out, but rejecting her daughter? That was not one of them. And she just didn't understand it. Brittany had always loved children. _What the fuck was that? _'Te amo Alejandra. Always remember your mama loves you more than anything in the world.' Santana kissed Alejandra on top of her silky soft hair drawing peace from the simple act. Right in that moment she was content. She would cry later and try to understand what had just happened.

* * *

Quinn groaned as she kicked off her shoes. It felt so good. And when you worked the hours she sometimes did it was amazing how much something as simple as finally kicking off your shoes when you got home from work meant. She slowly made her way to her room. She needed a hot bath a glass of wine and a long nights sleep. 'I feel so old.' Quinn yelped surprised when someone shoved her against the wall. She relaxed a second later. 'Brit...'

Brittany cut Quinn off by smashing their lips together. She didn't want to talk she didn't want to think. She wanted to feel. 'You are way to sexy to be old.' She husked into Quinn's ear and grinned when she heard Quinn groan. 'I'm going to make you scream Q. Wrap your legs around my waist.' Brittany ordered firmly she knew that Quinn loved it when she took charge every now and then.

Quinn wanted to protest, but every time she opened her mouth Brittany kissed her hard. Finally Quinn kissed back just as hard she needed it just as much. _We'll talk later. _'No more talking Brit.' She growled as she nipped Brittany's ear. Finally getting a word in. It felt so good.

Brittany moaned when Quinn sucked and nipped a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. 'If you don't stop I'm going to drop you.'

Quinn snorted when Brit squeezed her ass, but stopped so Brittany could get them to her room. When they got there Brittany dropped her on the bed then quickly straddled her. 'Now what?' Quinn husked grinning up at Brittany.

Brittany zeroed in on the buttons on Quinn's shirt and snarled angrily at them as she tried to get them to cooperate. God she hated shirts with buttons. 'Now I'm going to strip you and then fuck you.' She lent down and sucked Quin's bottom lip in between her teeth and bit it lightly.

Quinn moaned loudly then bruised their lips together, kissing Brittany fully and deeply. 'You are wearing to many clothes.' She muttered when they broke the kiss to breathe.

Brittany finally got all the buttons then the shirt and bra Quinn was wearing went sailing across the room. 'Not for long baby not for long.' Brittany reverently took of Quinn's belt, gun and badge and carefully placed them on the beside table. It still amazed her how good Quinn looked wearing them. It was hot. The pants and underwear were handled quickly as well and also landed somewhere. 'So fucking hot.' Brittany mumbled as her fingertips circled Quinn's nipples making Quinn jump slightly.

'To many clothes B!' Qiunn whined, she wanted her hands on a naked Brittany. She grinned happily when Brittany rolled her eyes, but very quickly stripped off her clothes. 'Now that is more like it. Fuck B you are so bloody hot.'

Brittany straddled Quinn again and looked down at her. Quinn was always just absolutely perfect. And she could spend days just staring at her. 'Tell me what you want Quinn.'

Quinn pulled Brittany down by the neck so they were nose to nose. 'I want you to do what you promised.'

Brittany moaned happily. With her thigh she spread Quinn then a second later she slowly entered Quinn with two fingers. 'You are so beautiful.' Britt kissed Quinn again this time slower as she started move. Quinn met every thrust with her hips. 'I love this, how incredibly responsive you are.' She pinched one of Quinn's nipples making her moan loudly as she clutched Brittany's back.

Quinn was breathing hard, Brittany knew her body so well she could play her like a Stradivarius. Every touch, every kiss and every look made her burn hotter and faster. She wasn't going to last long, she was so turned on. And Brittany knew it. 'More.'

Brittany knew she could drag it out, but she could see that Quinn needed it just as bad as she wanted to give it. So she used her thumb and circled her clit. Quinn gasped into her mouth and arched wildly. Brittany took that as a sign and started pumping faster.

Quinn was so close she could feel it building at the bottom of her spine making her dig her nails into Brittany's back who moaned loudly. 'So...close...'

'Then just come undone for me.' Brittany whispered into Quinn's ear as she thrust into her then curled her fingers hitting Quinn's sweet spot. Then watched as Quinn's eyes went blank as she screamed out her name. Brittany kept up an easy pace helping Quinn ride out her orgasm. When Quinn finally went slack she slowly pulled out. 'So gorgeous.' She watched Quinn as she gulped for breath. Quinn was stunning, she always had been. But when she let herself come completely undone she was even more so, if that was even possible.

'Wow...that was...I dunno...but wow.' Quinn greedily took deep breathes. When she saw Brittany's self satisfied grin she slapped her lightly on the bare stomach. 'Hey!'

Brittany giggled as she pulled Quinn into her. 'What I told you I would make you scream, and I did.'

'You are such a guy sometimes.' Quinn huffed teasingly. She listened to Brittany's hear pound steadily, she loved closeness like that. Just being together with someone. 'You want to tell me now what that was about? Mind you I am not complaining, but usually you like to drag things out...a lot.'

Brittany trailed her fingers over Quinn's back drawing intricate patterns as she tried to sort out her thoughts. She knew this would come. Quinn never let her get away with anything. 'Santana wanted me to meet her daughter.'

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed. She knew exactly what happened. 'And you freaked.'

'I ran.' Brittany said softly her hands stilling.

Quinn bit her lip from lashing out, it wouldn't do any good. It would simply make thins worse. She should have seen that one coming. _I should have warned Santana. It must be killing her. _'That was a shit thing to do, but you can fix it Brit. You need to tell Santana, she won't understand otherwise.'

Brittany nodded. 'I will, I just need a day or two.'

'I'll talk to her tomorrow, I promise. But you have to talk to her soon.' Quinn hugged Brittany closed kissing her shoulder lovingly. 'She'll understand.' Quinn wanted to ask so badly what else had happened, but she knew Brittany would tell her when she was ready and not before. She would have to wait it out, or ask Santana.

'Quinn?'

'Yes?'

'Can I make love to you?' Brittany asked shyly, before what they had done was fuck, she had needed it. But she wanted tender and loving now. She wanted Quinn. And Quinn was always so utterly loving with her.

Quinn propped herself up and kissed Brittany slowly and thoroughly. 'I would love nothing more.'

* * *

**Ok so yes I wrote some Quinn and Brittany love! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, first off I am so so so sorry for making you wait so long. It has been very hectic for me. Things are slowing somewhat and I hope I?ll be able to find more time ti write, as I am no where near finished with either of my stories, but please just bear with me. It might take some time between chapters. Anyway I know it sucks when an author talks a lot and doesn't brng the goods. So here is another chapter, I hope you like. Enjoy.  
**

* * *

Quinn morosely watched as the coffee in her cup swirled slowly as she stirred it. She sighed loudly and once again took in the empty kitchen and didn't know whether she should be pissed or saddened by the fact that Brittany had disappeared before she had even woken up. _I feel like a one night stand._ The thing was things were changing, and rapidly, and while Quinn was struggling with it she was sure so was Brittany. And for the life of her she just couldn't quite pull of being pissed at Brittany. She never had been able to. 'This is ridiculous!' Quinn picked up a pen and pad and wrote a short note for Brittany then grabbed her phone and dialled walking back to her room to get dressed. She was not going to spend her day moping around like some slighted teenager. _We are going to talk B. I don't like things the way they are. No running._

_'Lopez.'_ Santana barked into her phone as she tried to wrestle a very cranky Alejandra into her onsie. She was really not cooperating.

Quinn smirked, Santana sounded exasperated and that was new making her wonder why. 'Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?'

Santana stopped what she was doing deciding that this round went to her little trouble maker. But she grinned none the less, she was exited to spend time with Quinn and Alejandra. 'No, no Dre is just a little fussy.'

'Is she ok?' Quinn asked her biting her lip.

'She's fine Quinn, don't worry. She is just cranky, I think the cast splint is bothering her. Thanks for asking.' Santana smiled and tickled a wriggling Alejandra making her gurgle happily as she tried to grab a hold of Santana's fingers.

Quinn sighed in relief, she didn't know exactly why she liked Alejandra as much as she did and she wasn't going to ponder it. 'Well that is good. So I was hoping we could meet up in say an hour to go to the Zoo, if you still wanted to?'

'Course I do, you said something about lending your navigational skills, so it's on.' Santana chuckled as she spoke, Quinn had turned into such a laid back person. And Santana could easily see them spending a lot of time together. _She is being a really good friend._

'Well I am just taking pity on poor Alejandra, I mean it's not her fault her mama is totally useless at showing her the greatest Zoo ever.' Quinn teased as she frowned at the contents of her closet. _God Quinn you have basically nothing casual!_ _When the hell did that happen?_

'One time! I got lost one time, and you are never going to let me forget that, are you?' Santana whined and picked up Alejandra to try and get her calm and more cooperative.

'Nope, it's way too funny to let you forget it.' Quinn grabbed her only pair of jeans, they were worn, but then she was not going to wear a suit to go out on a Sunday to the Zoo. _I was sure I Still had some sneakers in here, now if I could just find the fuckers. I think Brit might be right, I work too much._ 'So I was thinking of meeting you at Nothing But Chocolate. It's a Café about ten minutes from your place. I figure something hot before we go would be good. You in?'

Santana blinked then grinned stupidly, Quinn didn't suggest a coffee shop and she was sure it was because she now knew why she was not drinking it at that moment. She suggested something she knew Santana would still love though. 'Sounds perfect, text me the address and we'll meet you there in an hour.'

'Will do.' Quinn bit her lip, not sure if she should say more or not. 'I'm really looking forward to this Santana.' She finally said, she didn't care if it made her sound pathetic, it was what she felt.

Santana grinned. Like two peas in a pod, who would have thought? 'Me too, more than you know. See you soon Quinn.' Santana said before they hung up, she had to get Alejandra ready.

Quinn shook her head and chuckled. 'You always did like getting in the last word.' She checked her watch then quickly finished dressing, she would have to hurry, or she would be late.

* * *

Brittany sat on the steps of her soon to be new dance studio and frowned. She felt utterly guilty. She had treated Quinn like crap, and she knew that Quinn wouldn't say it, but she would definitely feel it. _Why didn't you just stay and talk to her? You know she needs to, you know that she is finally ready. You might not be, but she is._ 'Fuck!'

'Well I would say it's nice to see you sweet pea, but I would be scared what came out of your mouth next.'

Brittany looked up and actually managed a genuine smile. 'Holly.'

'You rang and I came. Now come here and gimme a hug.' Holly pulled Brittany up and gave her a long hard hug then took her in at arm's length. 'So you worry me when I get these strange early morning calls.'

'It's ten.' Brittany arched her eyebrow, Holly always did have a strange perception of time.

'Like I said it worries me when I get these early morning calls. So want to tell me what happened? Usually you talk thing out with Quinn.' Holly's eyes went wide when she saw Brittany's expression. She had seen a few times before. _Well crap._ 'Ok sweet cheeks lets walk and talk then. I can really use some coffee right about now, but I don't have a clue where we can find some.'

'Around the corner on the left there's a Starbucks.' Brittany said softly as they started walking. 'I don't know where to start.' She said after an uncomfortable silence.

Holly shrugged, she wasn't one to push. Brittany would talk when she was ready. 'Anywhere, nowhere. Doesn't matter, I'll listen regardless.'

Brittany stopped in front of the Starbucks and bit her lip. 'Santana's back.' It wasn't what she actually wanted to talk about, or maybe it was since it was what popped out of her mouth. She was just completely confused. 'I acted like such a bitch, she must hate me.'

Holly blinked a couple of times, now that was the last thing she had expected. But boy was that a huge can of worms, and she didn't even know the particulars yet. She just knew that when Santana had disappeared Brittany had been broken for a long time, and her suddenly being back? Well she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. _I'm going to need a really big cup of coffee for this one._ 'When did that happen?'

'Quinn ran into her about two weeks ago. She's in New York.' Brittany mulled it over in her head. Should she tell Holly everything, or just the basics? She was sorely tempted to just give cliff notes, but she knew that was only because she felt so utterly ashamed of how she had acted. _It's not Santana's fault I acted like a scared asshole. It's mine, I should have stayed and talked to her like __she talked to me._

'OK?' Holly prompted a little as they stood in line to get their coffee. She would definitely need more information to puzzle out why Brittany had actually called her. Not that it was a rare situation. Whenever Brittany got in over her head and she couldn't talk to Quinn, she would call Holly. Over the years they had gone from teacher student to siblings. Holly had gladly taken the spot of older sister to Brittany. She had known from the first time they met that Brittany and her would grow into something more.

'And yesterday I met her, and then I freaked out and ran.' Brittany grumbled, she was sure that Holly was completely lost. _Welcome to the club Holly._

'You know I love your process girly, but I am going to need a little more than that. Cause I get the feeling I am missing some vital components here. So why don't we take these lovely coffees grab a table and you can tell me from the start what is up?' Holly arched her eyebrow.

Brittany nodded, maybe that is exactly what she needed, to start at the beginning and figure out what she should do next about everything. 'Ok, but don't judge, I was an ass.'

'Do I ever?' Holly teased Brittany, she was not the epitome of good decisions after all. She was ready for a long day, but that was ok Brittany was one of her favourite people. She would sit there for days if that was what Brittany needed.

* * *

Quinn rushed into the Café ten minutes late. She couldn't believe she had missed the subway, the one time she decided to take it and she missed it and had to wait for the next one. Making her late, and Quinn hated being late. She spotted Santana at a table tucked away in the back with Alejandra on her lap and rushed over. 'I am so sorry I am late.'

Santana chuckled amused. Quinn could be such a stickler. 'Just sit down Quinn, you're not late. I just got here. And by the way this place is great!'

Quinn smiled sheepishly, but did what she was told. 'Yea, it is and it's close to home for you.' Quinn bit her lip a little, that sounded weird, she was sure. She had no business making suggestions to Santana.

'It's sweet of you Quinn, now stop over thinking it. You did a nice thing for me, and I am grateful.' Santana smirked when she saw Quinn blush. Yea Quinn I can still read you. Plus that was just written all over your face. 'Now do you have any suggestions?'

Quinn cleared her throat to try and hide her embarrassment. 'Alejandra your mama is being mean.' She finally muttered as she grabbed the menu. Although she already knew what Santana would like she now felt obligated to at least look like she had to think about it.

'I was not.' Santana huffed still utterly amused. 'And I thought we already had the do not corrupt my daughter talk.' Santana pursed her lips, but started snickering a few seconds later Quinn looked to cute all worried. 'Quinn for god's sake calm down. We are just both really happy to see you, now don't go all shy on me. It's just me.'

'I'm sorry, I am just on edge.' Quinn put the menu down and signalled one of the waiters then turned to Santana. _Should I bring it up?_ Quinn quickly gave the waiter their order then turned back to Santana. 'I just...Brit talked to me when I got home.'

Santana blinked rapidly, this had not been part of the days plan. But she should have known, and Quinn would of course bring it up. _What am I supposed to say to that? That I balled my eyes out and got next to now sleep? That that broke me, again?_ 'It didn't go as I had hoped for.'

'She hurt you, and I am so sorry.' Quinn said softly, she could see it in Santana's eyes, her mask was good, but not her eyes.

'Quinn, just don't.' Santana sighed deeply scrubbing her face with one hand. 'You don't have anything to apologize for, you did nothing wrong. And really after everything I hoped for better, but really expected worse.'

Quinn scratched the back of her neck, then just shrugged. Santana was her friend after all that meant she was allowed to call her out. 'Bullshit Santana. Sorry baby girl, you should not listen right now key?' Quinn said softly to Alejandra before she looked up at Santana again. 'And you don't look at me like that. Brit behaved horribly, and you don't even know why. And you have the right to know the whole story.'

'But you aren't going to tell me.' Santana said it matter of fact. She knew that Quinn wanted too, but it was obviously not her story to tell. _What the hell happened?_

Quinn sighed and fiddled with the sugar packets, this had been supposed to be a fun day out, not this. It was time to get them back on track. 'No, I can't. And she ran because she was scared, not because of Alejandra. When she comes to you, and she will.' _I'll make sure of it, even if I have to drag her kicking and screaming._ 'Hear her out. But now I think our drinks are just about to get here. So let's enjoy them then get to the Zoo. It's a perfect day to be outside.'

Santana mulled over Quinn's statement then finally nodded slowly. Brittany had given her a chance to explain her side of what had happened, and she would do the same when Brittany came to her. That didn't mean what she did hurt any less. But there were obviously some things that Santana wasn't aware of, that she should be to understand Brittany's motivations. 'I want you there.' She hadn't planned on saying that, but she meant none the less. She needed Quinn there to hold her up if things went wrong.

Quinn looked startled at first but finally nodded. 'You give me a call and I'll be there.' She held eye contact with Santana to let her know how serious she was.

Santana nodded then on whim got up and walked to Quinn and very carefully handed Alejandra to Quinn. She hadn't missed the longing look Quinn tried to hide. It actually thrilled her to no end. 'Can you hold her? I need a quick bathroom break.'

'Of course.' Quinn's grin could all but light up the whole of New York. She was that thrilled. 'Hey there Alejandra, remember me?' Alejandra gurgled and immediately zeroed in on Quinn's necklace and yanked causing Quinn to huff out surprised and Santana to laugh.

'I think she remembers you just fine.' She laughed softly before heading to the bathroom. She threw a last look at the two and shook her head. Quinn seemed to have infinite patients with Alejandra. She was very gently prying her necklace out of Alejandra's fingers all the while having a grand all time chatting with her. _Those two are going to be a handful, I can feel it._

'You are a little angel, aren't you?' Quinn kissed Alejandra on top of the head, she couldn't believe that the little girl could be anything but cute and sweet, but Santana kept insisting that her liking Quinn was a big thing. If it was really true Quinn counted herself very lucky. She was already head over heels for Alejandra, and if Alejandra hated her it would suck. 'You won't ever hate me, will you?' The only response Quinn got was a happy babble and bright eyes focused on her fingers.

* * *

Holly shook her head as Brittany finished. _Well that is a clusterfuck situation. They all are so beautifully broken, it is enough to make you cry._ But what she found so phenomenal was the fact that although they were so very broken, they had all pulled their pieces together and in spite of what people threw at them they had become more and better than even they had ever hoped to be. If only they could see that as clearly as she could. 'You already know what you have to do little B. It's a mess I'll give you that, but it can be fixed. You have to let go, it's time to let go.'

Brittany bit her lip until it became painful. She had convinced herself that she wouldn't cry, her tears never got her very far after all. Everything was still exactly the same after. 'I don't know if I can.'

Holly reached across the table and squeezed Brittany's hand. 'Sure you can sweets. Maybe not all at once, but you can start.' Holly gave Brittany an encouraging smile. 'You go and talk to Santana, because that girl has been through enough and deserves better from you than what you did.' Holly said sternly. 'And then you have to talk to Quinn. Sweetie it's time to let her go.'

Brittany looked up alarmed at that statement. No she couldn't lose Quinn, she would break if she did. 'No, I need her!'

'I know, I am not saying you have to throw her out. But you have to let her heart go, it's not fair to her.' Holly bit her lip before deciding if she should say more. Sometimes saying more was necessary. 'I know what you two agreed on, but sweet cheeks you knew that Quinn still had feelings for you. And you can't give her what she really wants. She wants a partner someone who she can love and who loves her back. And as much as you wish you could, we both know that boat sailed a long time ago. But for her you have to tell her and you have to stop sleeping with her, because at this point you are using her and it is going to end up hurting her. She deserves better and you know it.'

Brittany nodded, she already knew that. God how she wished that she could be in love with Quinn, because things with Quinn had always been so easy. She loved her she just wasn't in love with her. And in the last few months it had become more and more obvious that Quinn wanted more, was ready to either start something with her or move on. She wanted someone to be in love with her. 'I don't know what to do without her.' She finally admitted what was really bothering her. She wanted Quinn happy, but she didn't know how to be without her. To be by herself. She hadn't been alone in years and even back when she had been she hadn't really been.

'You won't lose her, it would be impossible for you to lose her. She cares about you Brit and she will never let you fall, you'll learn how to do things on your own. And she needs to find her great love the way you did.' Holly said the last part so softly that Brittany nearly missed it. But she didn't and Holly swore she could see every drop of blood drain from her face. _Too much Holls to damn much!_ 'So I have been hearing rumours, that a certain blonde dancing sensation was opening another studio, tell me it's true.'

Brittany took a few deep breathes, to calm down. She hated the way she still reacted to the mere mention of it. But at least now she could calm herself down. 'True, it's completely true.'

'Sweet cheeks you have to tell me everything! And why now?' Holly asked excited. Brittany was doing better, so much better.

'If you are sure, I have it all planned out already and I am only signing the papers on Monday. It might bore you.' Brittany grinned crookedly the thought of her new project very effectively pulling her out of her down. _All temporary, but I'll take it._

'Everything sweet cheeks, tell me everything!' Holly reiterated then sat back and waited. Now this was a lot more fun and Brittany had such a clear idea of what she wanted, that much was obvious.

* * *

Santana shook her head and snorted. She still wasn't sure how Quinn had kidnapped Alejandra from her. Well maybe it was her own fault for handing her over in the first place. She just never thought that Quinn would not give her back. _Oh shut up San you love seeing Dre with Quinn, the oddest couple, but so cute._ When she had come back from the bathroom she found Quinn discussing Art and Literature with her little girl, who seemed utterly fascinated. And when they left Quinn hustled her into letting her take Alejandra for a while. So there they were Alejandra securely in her sling on Quinn's chest, with Quinn looking as if she won the lottery. 'You do realise she doesn't know what you are going on about, Voltaire just sounds pretty to her.'

'She does too.' Quinn pouted with a grin, she knew she was maybe going a little over board, but the idea that she could maybe take Alejandra with her to some Museums and read her some of her beloved Classics were bringing out her inner child again. 'She is just a lot more cultured than her mama. So I can see how you would think she doesn't know.'

Santana smacked Quinn's shoulder lightly and scowled. 'Hey don't call me uncultured, just because I find paintings of dead people boring doesn't mean I am not well read or uncultured you know.'

'Hey no smacking the woman with the baby!' Quinn smirked waggling her eyebrows playfully. 'And of course you aren't completely uncultured, you hung out with me enough that some of it rubbed off.'

Santana pursed her lips and arched an eyebrow. 'Look out Quinn your geek is showing.' She said it so dryly that Quinn couldn't help but burst out laughing which only got Santana laughing as well.

'It's been a while since anyone has accused me of being a geek.' Quinn finally managed once they were able to calm down a little.

'I think that might have something to do with the gun and badge you usually carry around. People get a lot more careful with their words when confronted with those.' Santana said as she looked Quinn up and down. She had to admit Quinn looked very good in jeans. _I wonder why she never wore them in school?_ 'But with that shirt, total geek!'

Quinn scoffed a little, but she knew her ears were tinted red. It was one of her favourite shirts. It was a gift from Brit for her 21st. It was also one of only a few t-shirts she still owned the rest having vanished along with all her other casual clothes. 'Hey there's nothing wrong with my shirt, it's one of my favourites.' She defended, very happy that said shirt was nicely hidden beneath her jacket and Alejandra.

Santana snickered, obviously having hit some sort of nerve. 'Quinn you are wearing a Freudian Slip T-shirt and you are proud of it. Total geek.'

'Ugh you aren't going to let that one go are you?' Quinn sighed.

'Not a chance.' Santana smirked happily. 'As they say paybacks are hell.'

'Ok then I confess. I had absolutely nothing to wear. It seems that I only have suits in my closet. And this was the only casual clothes I could find, and I only have them because they were both gifts.' Quinn blushed bright red, not even sure why she had felt the need to share that little tad bit. It was embarrassing. _Why do I have the need to explain myself to Santana?_

Santana blinked then shook her head chuckling. _Who would have thought, we used to both be so obsessed with how we looked. And now?_ 'I am so glad I am not the only pathetic one here.'

'Uhm...what?' Quinn looked at Santana as if she had grown a second head.

'See these?' Santana patted her jeans and waited for Quinn to nod. 'I admit these are mine, and I have worn them maybe four times...in five years.' Santana smiled when she saw comprehension flit across Quinn's face. 'The shirt? Not mine, I have no idea who's it is, just got mixed up in my gear, and I sometimes sleep in it.'

Quinn snorted enjoying Santana's teasing self-deprecation. 'And you were bad mouthing my shirt, at least I know where mine came from.'

Santana shrugged grinning widely. 'That shirt was just asking for it.' Santana scrunched her nose in delight when Quinn gave her the Quinn look. She couldn't remember the last time she had had this much fun. 'Now let's get on with the inspection though, shall we?'

'Oh please do.' Quinn glared at Santana. She liked her shirt, so sue her.

'You are so easy, the shirt suits you Quinn, I was just teasing.' Santana gave Quinn's shoulder a squeeze. 'Now where was I?'

'Well we had the neglected jeans. A stranger's shirt. That leaves the jacket and the shoes.' Quinn looked Santana up. _It's not fair that she makes just about everything look this good. Although I like her better in Uniform. Suits her._

_Is she checking me out? No, just stop she is just looking. _Santana shook herself from her thoughts. There was no way that Quinn would ever look at her like that. 'Oh yes, well let's see.' Santana fingered the jacket and smiled wistfully. She would have loved it if Dolly was there with them, but the little piece of her with her was a small comfort at least. 'This Dolly sneaked into my pack. She is always mothering me, so I guess she wanted me to have at least one non army issue jacket.'

'Dolly?' Quinn cocked her head, Santana had not really talked much about her current friends or the people in her life so Quinn was of course very curious.

Santana grinned, oh Dolly and Quinn would be fun to watch. 'She is still in Iraq, we are family. You would love her and hate her at the same time. She is a hand full.'

'You light up when you speak about her.' Quinn said softly, wondering what place in Santana's life Dolly held.

Santana's lips quirked, she wanted to laugh because Quinn's implication was so easy to read. 'She is my best friend. We have gone to hell and back, and it has made us close.' _Better keep our playing house to get people of our backs to myself for now. _'But Dolly is the straightest woman I have ever met! So no she isn't my significant other.'

Once again Quinn wanted to curse her blond hair as she turned bright red. 'I didn't mean to imply anything.'

'Oh for the...Quinn I thought we already discussed this! No more awkward.' Santana teased, she really didn't want things become awkward again. They were having to good a time. _You just like spending time with Quinn and Dre. _'And it wasn't such a ridiculous thought you know.'

Quinn bit her lip then finally nodded. 'Fine, just sometimes I forget how easy going you are now.'

Santana blinked a couple of times. 'Well I could say the same.'

Quinn actually snorted then bumped shoulders with Santana. 'I'm glad you have someone that you are so close with Santana.'

Santana nodded, letting Quinn get them back to their previous topic. She could ponder Quinn's statement and her reaction later. As well as her own. 'She has been there for me.' Santana smiled at Quinn then pursed her lips, it was time to get back to having fun.

Quinn could for a second see something flit across Santana's face, but before she could even try and work it out it was gone and was replaced with what Quinn was starting to recognize as Santana's playful face. _She looks so content and carefree when she does that. _'I hope I will get to meet her.'

'Oh you are bound to. Now I think I still have to tell you about the boots?' Santana wiggled her eyebrows making Quinn chuckle. 'These do actually have a story and yes they are mine. One of the few possessions I have held onto for years.' Santana looked at the boots, yes they were special. She started laughing when she remembered. She missed Quinn's cocked head and the pleasure that spread across her features as she watched Santana. 'I bought these with the first pay check me Dolly, Jess and James ever got.' Santana looked at Quinn then snorted, she had to explain that she knew. 'Just bear with me.'

Quinn nodded and kissed Alejandra on top of the head to keep herself from staring. Whatever it was Santana was remembering it was obviously a very good memory. 'I am not going anywhere.' _She is opening up so much, I didn't think she would after what happened. Or maybe that is exactly why._

'Well then.' Santana closed her eyes and pulled up the picture of her friends. James was harder and harder to get a clear picture of. Jess's face just made her heart thud dully. But Dolly made her grin. _Hold on to the good memories, you have so many of those. And sharing them keeps them alive. _'It was the first weekend we got to go off base. And everyone headed for the closest bar to drink their pay checks away. But I had stopped drinking, so we spent our time just walking around. Now it was a small town and there wasn't much there.' Santana glanced at Quinn and wrinkled her nose when she saw Quinn openly assessing her, not in a manipulative way. No Santana knew how Quinn looked when she did that. This was more in a way that told her Quinn was trying to puzzle her out just as much as she was trying to puzzle her out. 'Now it was a very small town in the middle of nowhere, but we found some shops. And ended up going into a saddle makers place. Now the guy who ran the shop was this old leathery, and yes leathery old man. He looked a lot like his saddles. And we got to talking and he suddenly disappeared into the back then came back with these.' Santana pointed to her boots.

Quinn smiled at the obvious delight on Santana's face. _This is important to her. So listen up Quinn. _

'He came back after a few minutes and slapped these on the counter and said they were made for me.' Santana shook her head, she remembered that she goggled at him like he was crazy, but when she had looked at the boots she knew she had to have them. 'He was of course right. They were everything I wanted and opposed everything I had been taught was ok for me to wear. In other words they were a big f you to my parents. I don't know how he knew, but he just did.' Santana rolled her eyes dramatically. She never did ask him how he knew, it seemed impolite. _And you didn't know whether you could handle the answer. _

Quinn chuckled, now that did sound like Santana. Strong sure and not afraid to give people a taste of their own medicine. 'So he had you pegged from the word go.'

'Yes, yes he did. But the boots were way out of my budget. I didn't really have much of anything back then. That I can tell you was a huge wake up call.' Santana shook her head and sighed. This was not what she had wanted to think about. 'But I couldn't take my eyes of them. Dolly and Jess noticed and kept telling me to buy them. 'Dolly was very pushy that I should get them. At that point I hadn't told them everything that had happened, that my parents threw me out you know.' Santana offered up the last part awkwardly. She knew that Quinn and Brittany had talked, but Quinn never let on how much Brittany had told her.

Sensing Santana's sudden discomfort Quinn lightly squeezed her arm and smiled encouragingly. She wasn't sure exactly why the sudden change, but really wanted to get Santana smiling like before. 'Well don't leave me hanging, you have me at the edge of my seat here.'

Santana chuckled, and felt a lot lighter. Things with Quinn seemed to easy now. And not for the first time she wondered why they had been so hard when they were younger. _Because you were both scared and repressed and angry. But that is just a theory. _'Right anyway I finally managed to politely decline and herd the gang out of the shop, but I think I might have glanced back one to many times. And the next thing I knew Jess stomped her foot and growled at me to go back and get the f-ing boots already.' Santana giggled as she remembered talk and built Jess throwing a temper tantrum like a five year old. It had been so shocking at the time that she had blurted out the truth behind her not getting the boots. But now it was just hilarious and always made her laugh. 'In total shock I blurted just about my whole life story. You see Jess was always calm and easy going, and the sweetest person you could imagine. That was my first experience of her very Irish temper.'

Quinn laughed lightly at Santana's expression. It was somewhere between wonder and complete shock. _She still has the ability to pull you in. Spin a wonderful tale. Dramatic and funny. _'Oh come now Santana you had to deal with a lot of tempers in our high school years. Mine included.' Quinn said the last part with an arched eyebrow and as dry as a desert wind.

'Yes, all true, but with you I expected it. Jess was quiet, kind, sweet and considerate. I just didn't see it coming.' Santana tilted her head back and sighed deeply. _God I miss them, so much. _She shook herself, this was not the time for introspection. 'Before I really knew what was happening though James and Jess had each grabbed an arm and with Dolly leading the charge we went back there and with all four our pay checks I bought the boots. I have never gone anywhere without them since.'

Quinn watched Santana without saying anything. She was showing more of herself that Quinn had ever seen before. _She misses them. _She looked lost in thought and the past. Happy and sad at the same time. And then realization hit Quinn, she had seen that same contemplative look before. Many, many times. Alejandra started really rooting around which made Quinn chuckle, she was also the perfect change of topic. Because Quinn needed time to process and think about the implications of her realization. Santana had lost friends, and it seemed like she had lost friends with whom she was extremely close. 'I think she wants her mama.'

Santana took Alejandra and started laughing when she caught onto what Quinn meant. 'Ahhh yes, treat me like the milk factory why don't you!' She accused Quinn lightly as she and Quinn found a secluded spot.

'Well if she shoe fits.' Quinn shrugged as she looked away while Santana situated Alejandra so she could drink.

'You know Quinn for a lesbian you sure are skittish around breasts.' Santana bit her lip as she watched the tips of Quinn's ears turn bright red. She found it utterly endearing.

Quinn whipped around to protest, but as soon as she saw Santana's breast, even if it was obscured, she turned bright red and turned away again. _What the hell was that Quinn? Seriously! _'I have never had any complaints before.' Quinn muttered, she knew it was too little too late.

Santana snickered, she would never have guessed Quinn to be shy about anything. But apparently her breastfeeding was making Quinn very shy. 'Whatever you say Quinn, whatever you say.' Santana lent back and closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feelings running through her. She was having a good time. She was with her daughter and Quinn, who was becoming so very important to her. _This is turning into a great day._

* * *

Rachel stared at the screen in front of her and blinked. She didn't really trust her own eyes, because if they were really seeing what she thought they were seeing she felt even worse. _God I was such a little bitch back then. _'Pat! Pat can you come here real quick?'

Pat stuck his head into Rachel's office. 'It lives! Well colour me impressed.' He walked in and dropped a kiss on Rachel's lips.

'Ha ha, very funny.' Rachel muttered as she motioned to the screen. 'I am not imagining things am I?'

Pat looked over Rachel's shoulder then whistled loudly. 'Did you click on the link they provide?'

'Yes, god Pat it's so...she was blown up Pat. Santana was seriously injured by an IED in Iraq!' Rachel's voice was scratchy and horse. She had been so shocked when she had first seen Santana's name in connection to Iraq.

Pat squeezed Rachel's shoulder in support, he felt for her. But he just couldn't imagine how badly she really felt. 'What does it say?'

'Not much about Santana. Simply that she got hurt pretty badly. And that the other soldier with her, Jessica Masterson died on scene.' Rachel took his hand then opened the other tab with the link. 'This one on the other hand...they were close Pat.'

'Damn.' Pat said softly, he had first-hand experience with war zones, but he had never lost anyone because of it. 'What are you going to do with this?'

'I don't know.' Rachel sighed unhappily. 'On the one hand I think I should send it to Brittany, but on the other? I don't want to heap more onto her.'

'Or this could help her.' Pat countered, he knew that Rachel was unsure of herself otherwise she wouldn't have called him there. 'She asked for information. You found...well quite literally the mother of all information. And can she really get worse?'

Rachel sat back and mulled things over. Pat was of course right. She knew from what little Quinn told her and what she herself had seen, that although Brittany was functioning she was a shadow of herself. _Maybe knowing where Santana is and what happened to her will help. _'I do have some other information I could send her at the same time.'

'There you go. You did what she asked and are keeping her informed.' Pat kissed Rachel on top of the head then headed for the door stopping just outside. 'You're doing the right thing.'

Rachel sighed then opened her E-mail. Maybe Pat was right, and maybe he wasn't. But she was going to send this article regardless. 'Thank you Pat. I'll be out soon.' After quickly jotting down all she had managed to find out she attached the article then hit send before she could get second thought. Rachel sat back and stared at the screen. 'I hope I did the right thing.'

* * *

Quinn watched Santana closely as she pointed out the different animals to Alejandra, who didn't seem interested in the least. But she was, she found it so incredible to watch Santana with Alejandra, they were extremely close and Santana loved her without reservation. And it stuck her that Santana was giving Alejandra what she had never had. A loving caring family. One that would never let her fall. _She is an incredible mother, who would have thought._

'God you still think so loud that it could wake the dead.' Santana scowled at Quinn playfully. She had felt Quinn watch her, it should have bothered her, but it didn't. But she was curious what had put such a pensive look on her face.

'Now you sounded like Kerry. She is always complaining about my thinking.' Quinn smiled a little, not having quite shaken her thoughts away.

'So tell me what you were thinking about so hard?' Santana had turned to fully face Quinn. Her whole attention now on her. She was amazed how much fun they were having. The three of them.

Quinn bit her lip, then looked up at Santana. 'Well I was wondering what the point of our earlier talk was.' _You are such a liar! But then I couldn't really tell her what I was thinking, now could I? That would be over stepping._

'And that would be a total lie.' Santana said pointedly, but let it go. Some thing's were just not meant to be shared. They were still very much getting to know one another, and pushing was not going to get them very far at all. 'No matter. We did get side-tracked before didn't we?' Quinn nodded and waited for Santana to continue. 'Well my point was that we are both workaholics, and that we needed to get a life. With that said, it also means we actually need civies.' Santana grinned, she knew Quinn wouldn't like the next bit. 'So since I am being kidnapped already to go shopping for my apartment I say we should do a little clothes shopping, since we both need it.'

Quinn groaned, their past experiences with shopping weren't the best and Quinn was very loathing for a repeat. 'Do we have to?' She finally whined making Santana burst out into laughter. _I don't care that she is in essence laughing at me. That is just a beautiful sight._

Santana nose wrinkled and she nodded. 'Yes, we have too. But hey we have both grown up, I'm sure we can manage to do this without insulting each other.'

'Well ok fine, but if you so much as mention my ass in conjunction to a hooker I will kill you.' Quinn arched her eyebrow meaningfully and waited, she was sure Santana would eventually get the reference. _She did like to tell me that my ass looked like that of a hooker._

Santana frowned, for the life of her she couldn't figure out what Quinn meant. After a few minutes it finally hit her and she howled. 'Oh my god! I said that didn't I?'

'On several occasions.' Quinn replied dryly. 'So do we have a deal?'

'I promise to not tell you your behind looks like that of a the corner hooker.' _But I don't promise not to check it out, for being gay you haven't figured out I was simply checking you out back then and then panicked and turned it into an insult. But boy you have a very fine ass Quinn. Always did. _Santana shook herself, this was not the time for thoughts like that. Actually she shouldn't be having those kinds of thoughts at all.

'Ok fine so we will go on a shopping trip next weekend.' Quinn sighed dramatically, but couldn't help the small grin. Spending time with Santana and Alejandra was not a hardship.

'Good.' Santana checked her watch, it was time they got back. She still had some work to finish and she had to try and find a baby sitter for Alejandra since Millie was out for a few days. _This sucks! _'I am sorry to say, but I have to get back home.'

Quinn's knew that her disappointment more than likely showed clearly on her face. But she couldn't help it, was it crazy to think she just liked having Santana close and spending time with her? 'Of course, I've kept you two long enough.'

'No, really Quinn I would love to stay longer, but I have to get some work done. I need it for tomorrow, otherwise I would have stayed longer. This was a great idea.' Santana lightly touched Quinn's arm as she explained, she wanted Quinn to know how serious she was.

Quinn nodded, she knew how that went. She took work home more often than she liked, but that was just how it went. 'Walk you home?'

Santana chuckled, but nodded. 'So gallant. I never knew you could be such a gentlewoman officer.'

'Oh shut up.' Quinn laughed as they took off.

* * *

Brittany bit her lip until she could taste the faint taste of blood. But she couldn't stop, when she had opened the E-mail Rachel had sent her, she hadn't expected this. 'I was such a fucking bitch. I should have told her I should have explained. But no I ran. Probably making her feel worse than she already does.' _God San I am so sorry, so very sorry._


End file.
